A few years ago I was having lunch with a sponsee while he shared his Fifth Step with me. One thing he struggled with, he said, was perfectionism, a character defect—rooted in a deep sense of inferiority—that he felt his father had passed on to him.
In the years of my addiction, I liked to play in chess tournaments—but my self-worth was attached to how I fared in a tournament. When I won, I felt great. When I lost I felt like a failure. I would feel depressed, inadequate, and insecure. I believed I did not belong at a chess tournament; that the members should revoke my membership and ban me from the game for life.
I was raised in an alcoholic home that was fraught with violence, incest, and molestation. In the past six months, my older brother and my twin sister both passed away. They were finally at peace (although they never found recovery).
During my years in SA, I’ve been both a sponsor and a sponsee. My drawing below is about both of those experiences.
I’m Tom, a recovering sexaholic, grateful for seven years of sobriety—although as they say, I’m never grateful enough! I know that I must continue to work the SA program.
We are grateful to our members for our excellent 2012 financial results. We finished the year on target compared to budget! Five years ago, the fellowship used Prudent Reserve to meet payroll. Since then, members have stepped up to meet our needs and replenish the Prudent Reserve.
One of the most exciting service opportunities I’ve found in SA is my participation in Skype meetings. I belong to two groups—one on Monday at 12:30 p.m. and one on Saturday at 7 a.m., both New York time. We have members from the US, Europe, Asia, Guam, and Tasmania!
Following are five things I try to do every day before 5 p.m.—or “5B45.” This is the recipe that I developed for Sobriety:
I’ve been a sexaholic most likely since the age of 11. I’m 64 now. I’ve been in recovery, through the grace of God and SA, for almost 16 years. For reasons too long to go into, my sobriety over the last two years has been spiritually weak.
Newcomers often ask, “How do you get lust out of your head?” My honest reply is, “I have no earthly idea.” You see, for me, I have never been able to get lust out of my head. I’ve tried. I’ve tried really hard. I tried for three decades and I failed. I have failed every time. Then I noticed something.
