What is sober dating? I can only speak for myself. For me, sober dating has been the hardest, most demanding, and most rewarding experience of my life. When I was “out there” in my addiction, I never dreamed I would be able to be in a close relationship with a woman and remain sober from lust and sex. Today, I’m here to tell you that it is possible.
It’s the third Friday meeting of the month in San Francisco. As usual, the room is quieted by a Step Five letter I’ve just read aloud. The letter was written by a prisoner we’ve never met. We’ve heard other prisoners’ stories, but none of the other crazy shares quite compares with this one.
It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m having a great conversation with a fellow SA member about the Eighth and Ninth Steps and the amends letter he is trying to write to his wife. It’s not unusual for me to spend my Sunday afternoons this way, except that this one is happening in the visitation room at the state prison, and today is Father’s Day.
My name is Scott; I’m a recovering sexaholic serving a 6 1/2 to 13-year prison sentence for sexual abuse. It has been my great privilege to be a sober member of SA since March 24, 2006.
I didn’t want to go to the SA convention, “Serenity in the Rockies.” The title seemed cheesy to me, and I hadn’t experienced anything close to serenity in a long time. But my sponsor had instructed me to go, and I reluctantly agreed.
One day I realized that although I had spent generously on my addiction, I’d been pretty stingy with my giving in recovery meetings. The selfishness and denial that had blinded me to lust also blinded me to greed.
Dear Fellow SA Members: Question: What is the purpose of the Delegates? Answer: To serve the fellowship. That’s why we are called “servants.”
Acceptance is a big part of my program today. Acceptance keeps me out of expectations (premeditated resentments), resentments, and revisited resentments. I can take “hits” off of any of these, and these hits can lead me directly to lust. One thing that helps me a great deal is using three simple slogans.
The Detroit Area Intergroup has been grappling with how to handle youth (i.e., children and teens under legal age) who wish to attend SA meetings. We’ve been discussing this ever since one of our local meetings sent away two girls last year.
I’m Jerry L., Chair of SA’s Translations Committee (a subcommittee of SA’s Literature Committee). Our committee handles requests for permission to translate Sexaholics Anonymous and other SA literature from English into other languages.
