Happy & Joyous Freedom in Times of Global Lockdown
In this time of disorder, struggle and transition God is at work. Sexaholics Anonymous is emerging as part of the solution. Technology has brought fellowship members into contact with large numbers of fellow sexaholics we would normally not have the opportunity to meet, nationally and internationally.
Like most people in SA, I have had to make adjustments in the way I practice my program routine. I had been a regular at the noon meeting near where I worked. With four meetings a week, it offered me a safe haven where I could finally face myself and what better way to break up the work day. I have to admit, I really depended on going there.
Happy and joyous freedom for me began nearly 13 years ago when the lust obsession was removed from my life. I had become a slave to uncontrollable urges, beginning about 25 years earlier and slowly worsening. Somewhere along the way, I crossed an invisible line into insane thinking and behavior.
Initially when I read the theme to submit an article for the Essay, I wondered about the paradox and challenge of finding such growth. I was intrigued by the focus. However, the more I reflected on my experience, the more I could honestly say that I had grown in joy and freedom during these Covid times.
To seek spiritual progress, I must continue to work the Steps with my sponsor. I must continue reading questions, reflecting and writing answers no matter how many times I’ve done this before. This time around, I found a few Twelfth-step questions online— about reaching out to other sexaholics and how the 12-step program has worked for me.
It works if you work it! It’s a simple quote. We repeat it at every meeting. Just as simple is the requirement for membership: a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober. But while these are simple truisms, living them is not easy. To stay sober in the face of day to day challenges and to deepen my recovery means I have to work the Steps, practice the tools of recovery, do service for others and take regular guidance from my sponsor.
Let’s start with some statistics. The word happy appears in the book Sexaholics Anonymous seven times, and in the book Alcoholics Anonymous 16 times. The word joyous is in the SA book eight times, and in the AA book 12 times. Freedom is used only four times in the AA book and 37 times in the SA book.
Football (or Soccer as they call it in the US) - what would we do without it? It is so exciting, so passionate, such a good topic of conversation, and so much more. As a teenager I was obsessed travelling around the UK following (worshipping?) my beloved Tottenham Hotspur F.C. As life moved on and I got busy with studies, marriage, kids I realized that (maybe?) there are more important things in life and I gradually lost interest.
One of the most effective Practical Tools is HUMOR. The difference between your sponsor and a therapist 1. Your sponsor isn’t all that interested in the reasons you acted out.
Below is what I shared with a lady in the fellowship who felt attracted to a man in a mixed meeting:
