There are probably as many ways of practicing humility as there are people in the SA Fellowship, but a few are common to all of us. First, we admit we need help daily. Second, we ask for help. Third, we accept the help we receive. The only condition is that I can’t ask someone to do for me what I can do myself at the time of asking.

I helped lead some sessions at a retreat with the Toronto, Canada group in May. It was a great time in a retreat center about 100 miles north of Toronto. Saw some old friends and made lots of new ones.

Dear SA fellowship,
I’d been looking forward to my Skype call to the 14th annual convention of the Iranian SA fellowship. My Iranian sponsee had called earlier to make sure all the technical details were in order. I could hear Iranian music in the background and the sound of many conversations at once.

The sexaholic on the telephone was palpably discouraged. “My lust does not seem to be getting better,” he said. “I still want to type sexual search terms into my computer. I find myself fantasizing about contacting women I’ve seen. Why doesn’t my lusting get better?”

SA members in Washington, D.C., are celebrating the 25th anniversary of an SA meeting that opened its doors in November, 1991, and has met weekly at the same location ever since, Capitol Hill United Methodist (CHUM). Members are grateful for the Friday evening meeting that sets a spiritual tone at the end of the work week with the SA program and Steps.

Recently we had 80 people attending our Saturday morning meeting. Tears of joy welled in my eyes recalling the first meeting I attended over 32 years ago. There were only two of us. After the meeting my mind reviewed the activities we used that led us today to having at least 49 meetings a week in our area.

Dear Essay,
Perhaps this letter can begin a series of discussions about SA and minors. This began when I received the following note from an SA List manager:

This is a letter of concern. As I travel internationally to SA groups and have international sponsees, I am becoming more and more aware that we are an international organization. As Bill S. said recently, “We will soon have more members outside of North American than inside.” Since this is true, we must become more intentional in our efforts to include participation at all levels of all members.

I’m Bill, a sexaholic from the USA. Last August I arrived in Warsaw for a weekend retreat. We had nearly 50 SA members from Poland, Slovakia, Finland, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Spain for a discussion of several principles of recovery from sexaholism.

It was July 31, 2015, and I was in the shower. Without warning, in the space of about a minute and a half, three different lust images came through my thoughts. Soon after I let the first one go—20 or 30 seconds later—here came another! Soon after I let that one go, there was a third!

Early this year, I was invited by the EMER Regional Assembly to travel and give some talks to the fellowship, at the Poland Congress of SA/S-Anon (October 23-25), in Poznan, Poland; The First Annual SA/S-Anon Retreat in Lille, France (October 30-November 1); and the Fifth annual Russian-speaking SA Convention (November 6-8) in Moscow.

While attending the International Convention in Portland in January, I found myself saying to God that I was ready to be of service again. Shortly thereafter, I ran into an SA member living in Russia.

By the grace of God and the fellowship of SA, I have been sexually sober since August 1, 1985)—something for which I am frequently but never sufficiently grateful.

I’m a lust drunk from England, sober for 20 years—since April 12, 1995—by the grace of God and the fellowship of SA. But my road to SA was a long one.

There I was in an Israeli prison, walking through a security checkpoint to visit an incarcerated SA member. What an ordeal! First, I had to empty my pockets. Then I had to take off my shoes. After that, I had to take off my socks and walk barefooted on a tile floor where other barefoot people—from all backgrounds—had been walking.

These thoughts from the AA Big Book run through my mind nearly constantly: “Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done” (85). And, as emphasized on the same page, this is the proper use of my willpower.

I’m Harvey A., a sexaholic from Nashville, TN. My sobriety date is March 8, 1984. I can hardly believe that I’m now 75 years old and have been sexually sober for more than 31 years. When I began the SA recovery program at age 44, I had a full head of hair that had not yet turned grey. At 75, what hair I have is completely grey. My outward appearance has changed over the past 31 years. But it’s the change in my inner self that I want to share with the fellowship today.

I’m Mike, a sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since June 3, 1984. I’m grateful to the members of my home group, who have helped me stay sober for the past 30 years. I’m also grateful for my wife, who probably should have dumped me many times over the years, but for some reason she has chosen to stay. We have a pretty decent marriage today—but it wasn’t always that way.

My tale begins over 12 years ago. At the time, I observed that—as I walked from my car to a downtown SA meeting—I would often notice the women coming toward me or even across the road or on the sidewalk, and smile at them. Sometimes what I noticed about them turned to fantasy, and I would have to surrender this during the subsequent meeting.

This autumn, I’ve been raking leaves in the yard and on the driveway. As I pull the piles of leaves together and get ready to put them in the wheelbarrow, I find the same refrain running through my head: “I want to quit doing this!” In practice, I just keep raking.