Many of us who have difficulty believing that there is a God or that (S)He will help us, can begin by letting the group be a “power greater than ourselves.” After all, here is a group of people who suffer from the same disease, who have found a way to overcome the problem. Surely that’s more than we have been able to accomplish for ourselves.
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5 (“How It Works”) says, “Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery.” The recovery programs of AA and SA are the 12 Steps. Going to meetings is not working the program. Calling your sponsor is not working the program. Participating in the fellowship is not working the program. All these actions can strengthen our recovery, but unless you are actively taking the Steps, you are not working the SA program.
The Third Step prayer reads: “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always!” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 63).
I just returned from our Tuesday night Step meeting. During this meeting we take a 30-minute session for each person to do individual Step work, which is then shared with the group. I have found it necessary to return to Step Two and I thought I would share on that Step in order to make my “taking” of that Step more real to me.
About a year ago I worked the Twelve Steps with my sponsor. I thought I was doing fine even though my sponsor left town. Then I noticed problems developing in my relationship. My wife noticed it too. She said, “Things were going better when you were working the Steps.” So I decided to do another Fourth Step focused on my relationship. I got a new sponsor to work with me. Here are the defects and fears I identified, followed by the way I have put what I’ve learned from this Step into practice in my life.
The Third Step has been the hardest and most confusing for me. It would have been much easier had I better understood and practiced the first two Steps from the start.
I have been coming to SA for over two years. I am now 150 days sober. I believe that my history of achieving a few months’ sobriety and then slipping lies with my ego. I seem to lack humility, which causes me to believe too much in my own way of seeing the world, no matter how painful that is, rather than accepting other people’s guidance and support.
Question: “How can SA as a fellowship work the Steps; I thought only individuals could do that?” Response: “The idea does sound kind of new and strange, doesn’t it? But let’s see what it might look like.”
Dying: Admit I am powerless over lust; that my sex, sexuality, orientation and relational misconnection are unmanageable.
I am a grateful recovering sexaholic. Because of my dad’s death and mother’s illness I came to California to help out and ended up at the North Hollywood SA group, where I found recovery. Halleluiah! I did my First Step with them which was the most healing and surprisingly, the most cleansing experience I’ve ever had in my life. I say surprising because I’m a woman and was greatly outnumbered in the meetings by men!
