I became willing to turn my life over to the care of God. My first time was when I first entered the program. Then I finally admitted that it was not up to me to define the bottom line. To really turn over to my sponsor—regular contact, honest sharing of my lust and resentment and regular work on the Steps is my next step.
When I began my sobriety in recovery in SA over three years ago, I listened to the Tenth Step as it was read at every meeting. At that time all I could hear was the reflection of my guilt, my shame and my pain. I thought that this Step meant that I would have to quickly proclaim to everyone all the screw-ups that I make in my life. I had enough difficulty revealing my past screw-ups!
(The following is an extract from a talk given by Roy K. at the Socio-Psychosomatic Clinic in Bad Herrenalb, Germany, in November 1985. Roy’s audience consisted primarily of members of 12-Step Fellowships.)
The SA conference in San Diego gave me a strong sense of fellowship and a great hope for our future in recovery and growth. Something that struck me, however, was an experience which brought some questions to mind regarding our commitment to the Twelve Steps as an ongoing foundation for recovery.
We all know how far we get in this program if we as individuals don’t have that First Step realization of our utter powerlessness over lust. Nowhere! Have you ever thought there might be such a thing as the group or SA as a whole being powerless over lust? If our malady has been telling us anything, it is that none of us as individuals or groups has the power to conquer lust and create sobriety, joy, and freedom.
My Ninth Step work began in March 1987, and the only reason I had was because there is a Ninth Step in the program. I sent a letter to the firm where I worked in 1972 and added a check for the electronic parts that I had stolen. I made another amends similar to this to the hospital where I had worked in 1974.
…Our SA fellowship here has been a great help to my sexual sobriety. In our last meeting, we talked on the Fourth Step. I have found that by working the Steps, I am continuing to grow spiritually. As well as constantly being aware of my addiction.
After SA first went national in June of 1981, another member and I spent a month visiting groups trying to get started around the country. (What a marvelous time we had! And we both got unlimited air mileage for $398, another of those small “coincidences” that we have been party to since we launched out on “a wing and a prayer.”)
Many of us are either just starting our groups or trying to get one started. In our last general letter of 12 October, we listed some hints for 12th Step work—getting new members. Chapter 7 of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) is entitled “Working With Others,” and is a “must” for every serious member of S.A.
In the Los Angeles group we’ve experimented with doing a “formal” First Step. The member who was the “guinea pig” made notes on his sexual history as it bore on the development of his feelings & emotions and the powerlessness/unmanageability of his life.
