After more than 50 years of addiction to lust, I discovered the SA fellowship about 18 months ago. I can’t say it’s been any easier since that first meeting to deal with my defects and all the harm they’ve caused; but after years and years of half-hearted attempts at “controlling” myself (more accurately minimizing the harm I’ve done, justifying it, or simply wallowing in self-pity), I’m convinced that SA and working the Steps will lead me to recovery from this illness.
Since I first discovered masturbation before puberty, it has been like a drug for me. It was my drug of choice: I used it when I was tense, happy, or feeling anything or nothing. I used masturbation to wake up, go to sleep, speed up or slow down, or to pass the time away.
I once worked in a nursing home, with senior residents who were trying to cope with the limitations of aging. At times many of them became disillusioned with their physical and mental limitations. One woman in particular had to go for dialysis two or three times a week.
I’m a grateful recovering sexaholic woman, sober since October 22, 2001. I was thrilled when I was asked to share my story at the January 2013 Convention in Atlanta. The last time I was in Atlanta was for the January 2002 Convention, when I had just returned to SA after a seven-year relapse.
For my Step Three, my sponsor suggested that I answer a standard set of questions that we use in our local groups. The answers I found were illuminating for me, and I shared my Step Three with my SA group. The feedback I got from the group was positive—several members even encouraged me to submit my Step to ESSAY!
I’m Steve, a recovering sexaholic, sober since December 14, 2002. I am living a much better life today, thanks to SA and the Twelve Step program of recovery.
I’m certain that I’ve experienced miracles from God throughout my recovery. I’m also certain that I’m blind to most of His handiwork. So the times when I can emphatically state “That was a God thing” are very special to me. One such time occurred at my first SA International Convention.
“I’m in a serious, monogamous relationship. I love him, and I’m certain that we’re going to get married. Why doesn’t SA support sex in this type of committed relationship? I’m able to stay present during sex, and it’s about connection, not escape. I don’t have religious convictions about waiting until marriage.
As I travel to many states and countries sharing my recovery message, I’m often asked the same question: “When and how should I tell the people closest to me that I’m a member of SA?” While each situation is different, I try to pass on general principles.
I’m Robert, a grateful sexaholic. By the grace of God and the miracle of the SA program of recovery, I have not had to act out since October 10, 2010. I recently celebrated my second SA birthday, as well as the removal of my ankle bracelet. After three and a half years in prison and four years on parole, I am again a free man.
