Coming Next
Men and Women in SA NEXT EDITION—The June issue will be on the brave men and women working together on their common solution in the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous.
SA’s History Shows That Together Is Better
The brochure Beginnings: Notes on the Origin and Early Growth of SA has become one of my favorite pieces of SA literature. Roy’s account of SA’s early history stresses that men and women together have been centrally involved in our fellowship’s development from the very start.
Recovering From Our Common Problem
Hello, my name is Ilona and I am a sexaholic. My sobriety date is January 14, 2016. When I walked into SA I was the only female in the room. This was expected, if at first, unsettling. I discussed this with my sponsor. She told me “What better way for your recovery being in a room of recovering men and learning to relate to them non-sexually?”
There Is Value in Co-ed As Well As Women-only SA Meetings
When I entered the room of my first SA meeting in September 2018, I was the only female. I sat down at a table with five men of varying ages and I felt very alone and fearful. What would these men think of me? It wasn’t until the meeting progressed and these men around me started sharing their thoughts and feelings about working their SA program that I began a slow journey towards being able to view men as people rather than as objects.
Filling Your Emotional Cup With Safe People
Below is what I shared with a lady in the fellowship who felt attracted to a man in a mixed meeting:
Warm Weather Challenges
I like that SA is a mixed group. However, sometimes as a woman I feel there are double standards in SA around how to dress in meetings, especially as the weather gets warmer.
Respecting Myself
Mixed face-to-face meetings are a great place for me to learn to respect myself in the presence of men. I have the option to go to a women-only meeting, but I have found (after hiding out in that women’s meeting for a year or two) that the mixed face-to-face meetings are 10 times better for my recovery and healing.
One Big Meeting
As I anticipated attending the 2007 Convention, I felt both excitement and fear. Excitement because the idea of meeting lots of new friends in recovery (including people I do service work with) sounded like great fun! But fear at the prospect of traveling to Maryland to meet these people, especially the men.
Mixed Meetings
I have heard of problems at mixed meetings, and I have had a few of my own making. But the problems have been valuable lessons in my recovery, and I wouldn’t trade those experiences because of the wisdom I’ve gained from them.
God Gives Us Courage
A member asked, “Do you feel connected to people?” She was feeling uncomfortable in mixed meetings, after one year of sobriety.
