These 12 suggestions were beneficial and very useful to me and our fellowship. I believe they have helped us to stay focused and committed to working the solution, like the first 100 members of AA did. I thought the fellowship might find it of interest.
Value of Abstinence to the Sexaholic 1. To discover lust and its part in the relationship and to decouple lust from sex. Going into total sexual abstinence reveals the presence and nature of lust. Before, sex and lust were so intertwined we couldn’t see anything but the sex. Taking sex out of the picture reveals what’s really there. And it is this hidden component that must be seen and progressively overcome for true recovery.
[One SA group’s guidelines for staying sober today; submitted at the January 1994 Rochester conference.]
The A Team concept is an idea we have put to use a few times to help some fellow suffering sexaholics. Until now each case has involved someone struggling to get started with sobriety, but it could conceivably be used for other purposes, such as a crisis in someone’s life. It is really a simple application of Step Twelve in which we join forces with others to help the sexaholic who still suffers.
Among many other gifts, SA hands me the most wonderful toolkit to use in recovery. The essential tools are meetings and telephone calls, working the Steps and Traditions, and contact with God as I understand Him. A daily contract for sobriety and a gratitude list are two other important tools. I generally use them only once a day. There is one tool, however, which I estimate I use 20 to 30 times every day and night. That is prayer.
My recovery calendar page today says “Gratitude turns problems into blessings and the unexpected into gifts.” I am grateful for the reminder of how important gratitude lists have been to my recovery from sexaholism. During the first several months of sobriety, I wrote gratitude lists daily. My sponsor said to put 20 items on it per day.
Shortly after I entered SA in August 1988, some fellow sexaholics mentioned making a “daily contract” for sobriety. During the first few weeks of sobriety, I hardly needed a contract. I was so scared and miserable that sobriety was my only option. My second marriage was near an end, my acting out would cause me to quickly lose my job and I simply felt hopeless.
