I am an SA member and have been for some time a reserve soldier in one of the many warring countries on this planet. Often I get woken up by alarms. Sometimes I see rockets in the air. Friends of mine have been killed. Everything is scary and weird, surrealistic.
There is a saying that goes something like this, “Not by argument will you change a person’s mind but by telling them a good story.” How true this is when speaking of Dave T. when he shared his experience, strength, and hope.
In an AA article, I once read about a fellow who is in the military. He wrote that he is taught to always wear a helmet, that it's a habit ingrained in him. Going outside means putting on a helmet, period. In the beginning, it was something he had to learn, something people had to keep reminding him to do, and something that had to become a real habit. But eventually, he did it without thinking.
Three years ago I was in pain. It was the pain of slavery to lust which was causing me deep trouble and threatening to ruin my entire life. The pain brought me into the SA fellowship. Thanks to the SA fellowship, and to my sponsor and through working the SA program, my deep trouble gradually turned into a blessing—into a life that is clean and sober. Sanity returned and I found a true connection with God. I don’t think I would ever have sought God so actively but for the pain and the brokenness that lust had caused me. This amazed me. What had seemed to me my worst misfortune turned out to be my greatest blessing. Isn’t that a miracle?
Today while traveling back to my home, my scheduled flight was delayed and there was a high probability I would miss my connecting flight. As I was checking in, I saw a flight leaving in 20 minutes and wondered if I could run to the gate and see if I could get on this earlier flight going to the same destination. As I checked my luggage in, the agent asked if I had any lithium batteries in my bag. I said, "No," as I wanted to make it to the service counter to see if I could jump on the earlier flight.
When I was 18, I went on a parachute course with a few friends. I was looking for a new adventure and an experience that I could feel proud about. After one day’s instruction on the theory, we were given the go-ahead to make our jump. We would be using the “static-line” technique for our jump. Here, a cord runs from the parachute to a rail fixed on the inside of the plane. When you jump, the cord pays out, then pulls out your parachute; you don’t have to do anything.
Recently, I had a spiritual awakening as I watched a well-made movie, based on true events, about a young lawyer who, 15 years after the second World War, decided to pursue the people responsible for Auschwitz. A lot of these people, after the war, had taken all kinds of ordinary jobs: primary school teachers, woodcutters, bakers, businessmen, dentists, etc.
Temptations most often come to me unannounced. If I am working my program well, I stay away from places and activities that create temptations. Sometimes, the temptations make me feel guilty even when I didn’t seek them out or indulge them. A conversation with my sponsor helps me sort that kind of thing out. In every case though, I have a Higher Power, a 12-Step program in SA, and the benefits of fellowship which remind me to surrender all lust temptations.
CONNECTING WITH A HIGHER POWER Two of the best tools in my “spiritual toolkit” for connecting with the Divine Intelligence (along with working the Steps, attending meetings, talking with my sponsor, and service work in the SA fellowship) are singing and playing (or listening to) music. Music is a lifelong passion for me and an important component of my recovery.
I had the opportunity to serve on a Friday night last February at an event that I had wanted to serve at for five years, but before never had felt ready to serve because of my addiction.
