Does SA Really Work?
Does SA really work? The clear answer from my own life is yes. I know it works, because it has worked for me.
What If?
What if, when I feel tired and weak, depleted and nervous, God is gently reminding me to rely on Him? What if I see the end of me as the start of God’s grace and power? What if His strength is all I need? What if my anxiety is a gift, because it reminds me that this life comes in moments, not days or years.
Spiritual Condition
At times I fail to recall the effort it takes for me to surrender my sexual lust on a daily basis. I pretend to think that because I have such a wonderful spiritual condition—attending Sexaholics Anonymous meetings, meeting with other SA members, etc.—that I don’t need other practical solutions. But that whole line of thinking originates in my ego.
Letting God In
When I first came to SA I was three years divorced from a twelve-year marriage and had two kids. I always say that I was a sexaholic before I married my ex-wife, a sexaholic while married, and still a sexaholic after divorce. I knew that something was wrong with my behavior—I just couldn’t stop, even though I did not want to continue.
Entitlement and New Lenses
Recently I received new lenses for my glasses. The current ones were scratched and insurance would replace them. After the optometrist installed the lenses, I walked back to my car in the parking garage. I found myself astounded by the new clarity of my vision! I thought I should give a quick call back to the optometrist to learn what had changed my eyesight so dramatically?
Acting Out Honesty
Chapter 5 of the Big Book tells us that honesty is a prerequisite of recovery. What does honesty mean for me? If I lie to you, even if I know the truth inside, I’m not being honest. Why? Because my outside doesn’t match my inside truth.
Unicorn Syndrome
A daily renewal is one of the best practices in my recovery from sexaholism. One morning my renewal partner said, “Matthew, you have UNICORN SYNDROME. You don’t realize how unique you are, how rare it is to have done the work you’ve done at your age and to have found recovery, or how unrealistic it is to expect your wife to be in the same place as you are.”
“You Don’t Have The Internet?!”
After I had about a year of sobriety, a friend of mine in the program asked me for a favor: Would I go with him to the local internet customer service center to be sure he would follow through with his decision to have his internet service disconnected?
Recovery from Lust
In 1998, I believed I had a good life. I was 50 years old and satisfied in my marriage of 25 years, secure in my job, and content to have raised two grown children who were now out of the house. At the time, computers were the latest technology, and the Internet was an intriguing way to spend time talking with people from all over the country.
Escape from the Web
I don’t remember when I discovered Internet pornography, but I know now that I was in trouble from the moment I first saw a hard-core image on my screen. Initially I didn’t think much about it.
