Coming Next
NEXT EDITION The December edition will feature articles on sober dating written by members from around the world.
Discussion Topic
Would you be willing to try singing the Obsession Song as a tool to surrender the right to obsess?
My Experience With Sober Dating
Recently married for the fourth time, the marriage already unstable due to my disease, I arrived at SA in early 2002. I’ve been sober since July 18, 2008. However, sober isn’t well, and my anger persisted. Finally my wife left me in 2013. At that time, I was a GDA delegate and attending International Conventions. I had an unmarried sponsee who needed dating guidance. What did I know about sober dating?
Sober Dating
For years I thought I took sober dating very seriously. My partner and I had been sexual together in 1991 and all hell broke loose. I prevented her contacting me ever again. and fled back to the UK. Then, five years later I reasoned things were different. She and I reconnected at an SA international conference. “This must be God’s will” I reasoned. My sponsor wasn’t so sure. “Make sure you are never alone together” he said.
The More, The Healthier
I am very fortunate that I was blessed to find sobriety in SA before getting married. I am also thankful that my sponsor required that I had stable sobriety before giving me permission to date. During the dating period, in addition to my meetings and Step work, I checked in with him multiple times during the week, especially checking in after spending time with the young woman I was dating.
Significant Relationships in Sex and Lust Addiction Recovery
My experience in Sexaholics Anonymous is that for most of us, significant relationships are part of our recovery. I never tell my single SA sponsees not to date because they are going to date anyway, and I don’t want them thinking they have to lie to me. SA is not a program of celibacy for all—thank God.
Respecting Women In Lust Addiction Recovery
One way that I find myself still engaging in lust is to say something—anything—that might be flattering to a woman. I might say something about a woman’s hair, or her earrings, or clothing, or perfume. Other times I will compliment what a woman has done well, when my motives are unclear.
Dating — A Spiritual Experience
Hi, my name is Yitzy and I’m a sexaholic. My sobriety date is October 30, 2018. My home group is ESH of Brooklyn, NY. I have a sponsor and I have taken all 12 Steps and I sponsor others. I would like to thank my Higher Power, who I choose to call God for allowing someone like me to have this amazing experience with dating in recovery and to be able to share it with others.
A Work in Progress
My name is C. and I’m a gratefully recovering sexaholic from Ireland. Some years ago I heard an old-timer say at a convention that, before he was married, he knew a lot about lust but did not know much about sex. I identified with this because it is also true for me. Through SA I’ve learned that lust and sex are two entirely different things.
Finding My SA Family
By the grace of God and the fellowship of SA, I have been sexually sober since August 1, 1985)—something for which I am frequently but never sufficiently grateful.
