Twenty More Years
I am grateful for six years of sobriety, starting October 10, 2011. It has been by the grace of God, the support of the fellowship, and a whole lot of work on my part.
Sexaholic, Mentally Ill, and Sober
I lost 8 years of sexual sobriety and was only able to regain it after discovering a mental health condition which had been undiagnosed since childhood. I had spent a lifetime in counselors’ offices trying to work out what was wrong with me. I came into SA, being one of the founding members of the program in my city. I got sober, worked the Steps, did service, sponsored others, immersed myself in the literature and conference recordings. But I wasn’t “happy, joyous, and free!”
Step 9: Just Another Day?
Today is November 7th. Three full days after I celebrated my November 4th birthday I still have not gotten any text or phone call from my parents, brother, or my two children. I realize that I am an adult. I told myself over and over again that it was just another day. All my life I was told “a birthday is just another day.” I believed hoping for birthday wishes was selfish and to just move on.
How NOT to Work the Steps
Jesse became an expert — on the Steps! Here’s the Jesse Step Program: STEP 1: Powerless? “Yes, of course! I can’t stop myself.”
The Missing Piece of Step Four
One of the most important gifts I’ve received as the result of working Step Four has been the ability to get free from resentments more quickly and easily than ever before in my life. And along with freedom from resentment, I experience a level of peace, calm, and improved relationships which I never would have dreamed possible.
Steps 1, 2, 3
Once every week an SA member calls to read to me the First, Second and Third Steps as a kind of surrender prayer. When I listen to him it brings me back to the basics of the program in these Steps. It could be changed depending on the person giving these Steps. Here is what he reads to me when he calls:
Step Two – Came to Believe…
The life I had been living was definitely insane, and my Step One inventory made that very clear. My way had failed, and I had to find a new solution outside my own thinking and willpower. Stories of recovery, and hearing recovery speakers share the depths of their addiction and how their lives were restored, gave me some small hope.
Step Four Changes Me
When I was working Step Four with my sponsor, he suggested that I pick one person, institution, or principle at a time and write up an inventory to share with him specifically about that one person. It was a lot of hard but very good work that resulted in a significant change in how I see myself in relation to others and God.
I Am Powerless
When did you realize that you were powerless over lust and that your life had become unmanageable? Was it a sudden realization or something that you arrived at over the span of months or years? For me, it was an epiphany brought about from the threat of a second divorce. It was a sudden realization of the kind of person that I had been over the past 30 years.
Sought Through Meditation
Twice a month SA members in the Sacramento area gather for a meditation meeting. The Eleventh Step in the 12&12 describes the direct linkage among self-examination, prayer and meditation. Our practice is simple: we read SA or AA literature and then spend about 20 minutes together in silence using our breath as a focal point.
