I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.
When Zoom meetings started I was blessed to attend one or more meetings per day including for the first time a women’s only meeting. I didn’t have much experience attending meetings with other SA sisters. It was beautiful.
As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a scientist. But life took a sharp turn when instead I became a lust addict. Accepting my struggle wasn't easy. What I thought was innocent indulgence in pornography and fantasy spun out of control, and I came to feel completely powerless. I stumbled across SA on the Internet, but I was still under age, and I had to wait until I turned 18 to join the Program. And living in India, where we didn’t yet have face-to-face meetings, meant I had to rely solely on online support.
I came into Sexaholics Anonymous at age 31. I am 55 today. I've seen a lot of women come and go. Based on behaviors I’ve experienced during those 25 years, I’d like to share some practical recovery tools how I treat the opposite sex at our mixed meetings:
About a year ago, I was asked to invite members to write articles for another ESSAY edition about women in SA. A few months later, talking about it during breakfast at the International Convention in Krakow, Poland, someone suggested that it would be more interesting to make an issue about women and men finding sobriety together. We are all equal in the Fellowship, and we need each other’s fellowship to achieve recovery as the White Book states in its chapter on “Mixed Meetings” (SA 178-179).
Hi, I'm Karin W., a woman sexaholic, and on 27 June '23, I landed in SA. My sobriety date is Sept 1, 2023. I have a SA in-person home group, attend Zoom SA meetings, work the 12 Steps with a SA sponsor and do SA Correctional Facilities Committee (CFC) service work. Also, I'm committed to 'no' dating or getting into a relationship for a year, minimum. Before SA, I wanted to die.
When I first came to SA and heard about mixed meetings (with both men and women), I thought, if everyone has the same brain as me, it’s gonna be quite a party!
There’s a saying, "Recovery is peace and serenity in the midst of the storm." And Priscilla has known many storms. Today, after more than 30 years of sexual sobriety, she has tools to stay the course during storms.
I’ve been sober since January 7, 2023. That day I took a flight to South Africa (SA), so I literally traveled to a new life since then. God has an amazing sense of humor!
A year ago, I felt apprehensive when I entered my first Zoom meeting because it was mixed. I had a question: How do I stay sober amongst men? What reassured me from the outset was the way the fellows included their sobriety dates when they introduced themselves. But I had no choice in the matter - I had to overcome my fears and keep coming back in order to learn how to stay sober and deepen my recovery, which I did; I continued to attend daily hybrid meetings on Zoom, plus a weekly women-only meeting.
