I am part of the duo that welcomes newcomers in an SA email group called SA Net. SA Net currently has over 1,000 members where the majority transition to meet on Zoom leaving few to actively participate on email. I am one of the few and have found great recovery in not only participating in SA Net but also in doing service.
My name is Meira. and I am a sexaholic. Or perhaps, more correctly, a lustaholic. I was using lust to cope with life as far back as I can remember, perhaps from the age of four or five. At first I used fantasy and compulsive masturbation, way before I even knew what sex was. These behaviors weren't a problem then—they were my solution.
Newcomer meetings—I love them! Newcomers remind me every time how deep I was in my active addiction myself, and I need such a reminder. But more important than that, at a first meeting, I can show that recovery is possible and I have an opportunity to be of service.
I received some news about my health that I was not quite ready for. It meant multiple trips to the doctor and waiting on test results. Waiting has never been a strong suit of mine. I found myself wrestling with fear, for as a sex addict, fear can be quite triggering. Fear is the spark that, if not surrendered to my Higher Power, can start a forest fire of bad decisions.
This letter is for every man I ever had sex with. I want to write this letter to make my amends to you. I have used you, either once or regularly, to fill an emptiness inside me that was impossible to fill with human “power.”
Being a sexaholic is a life-long condition, and it goes back to my childhood where I felt inadequate, unworthy, unloved, and lonely. I used to drink resentments about how I walk, talk, and my body shape. Thus, I never dismissed an opportunity to make myself feel better, including active lusting!
Traveling was never appealing to me. Why should I spend money to visit places that millions of people already visited and take pictures to bother my relatives with?
I'm back here again. I have missed this city. It has been just shy of a decade since I've been here. I breathe in the coastal air. The cooling embrace of the sea in front of me, and the towering skylines and mountains behind.
Traveling per se is a great gift bestowed by God - some people cannot afford it due to physical or financial issues. Traveling broadens outlook, inspires, acquaints with new places, new people, and new countries. Whether I’m relaxing or working, traveling is a part of my life. I am so grateful to God for this gift. Why is sobriety required for me when traveling?
I started my SA journey on May 25, 2021 when my husband confronted me once more but the difference this time was that my inner voice (Higher Power's voice) strongly directed me to some God (Good Orderly Directions), so I googled, found sa.org, and got connected to an SA India sister who introduced me to the SA program.
