After my disclosure in 1988, my wife told me to get help or get out. I met with my pastor, went on a retreat, and started seeing a counselor who sent me to SA. I joined. Then my wife told our children that she was asking me to move out.

I was very resentful. I had done everything she asked and she still asked me to leave! Even worse, she did this the evening before we were to leave on a holiday trip, which we would still do. I couldn’t see why, if she had to tell the children, she couldn’t have done it either several days earlier or else after the trip.

Our youngest son ran crying from the room. I went after him and asked what he wanted me to say. He said, “I want you to say that it didn’t happen.” I couldn’t. He then said, “I believe you still have enough good in you to leave.” My heart was opened, allowing me to accept that their feelings took precedence over mine. I left.

We reunited two-and-a-half years later, and our family life is now better than it has ever been.