COURAGE TO CHANGE doesn’t just come about randomly. At least, it never has in my life. I don’t think I have much courage, much less the courage I need in order to change. Changing myself can be scary. Sometimes it terrifies me. But turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understand Him helps me find courage.

Out of gratitude to SA for giving me a chance at life and love, I felt it my duty and responsibility to serve the still-suffering sexaholic as an SA Trustee. Our principles, gleaned from the growing pains of AA and SA, made it clear to me that SA wouldn’t exist without rotating service and leadership, so I believe it is the responsibility of every qualified member to sincerely consider taking a turn as a Trustee.

Have you heard of the SA Board of Trustees? Do you have any idea what service the Trustees provide our fellowship? Have you ever thought that you might be a candidate to serve as a Trustee? Whatever your answers to these questions, we invite you to read on and learn more about this particular service opportunity.

Courage to Change—something that I wasn’t capable of before coming to the program. I was the one who never said ”no” to anyone—I had to prove my worthiness by doing anything anyone wanted me to, and by helping people while forgetting to take care of myself.

“Meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings…” That’s what they told me. “Just keep bringing the body”- preamble to the Eighteen Wheeler. At the end of the meetings I attend we gather in a circle, hold hands, and say together, “keep coming back it works if you work it and you’re worth it.”

I ask God, as I understand him, for the courage to change. When and how do I do this? Every time I pray the Serenity Prayer, that phrase is there. I have liked the Serenity Prayer ever since the beginning of my recovery. We pray it often, in group meetings, in workshops, and at retreats … It says profound things with simple words, but often I will get distracted and simply recite it automatically.

I am Oscar, a recovering sexaholic, sober by the grace of my beloved Higher Power since March 6, 2012.

How does one become an oldtimer? It is very simple. Stay sober one day at a time, and do not die. Everything else is detail.

I could not go on. I had to change. And one of the many promises of the 12-Step program is that I will change fundamentally, if I work the tools of the program.

I am convinced that the book Alcoholics Anonymous is correct when it says that “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.” Selfishness is a spiritual malady, a spiritual problem rooted deeply in my being. I consider or evaluate everything by how it affects me. My fears are self-centered. A lot can be written about selfishness. It is enough to say that it is what causes my problems.

The topic of this edition matches the theme of the upcoming SA & S-Anon International Convention in July in Los Angeles: “Courage to Change.” Many men and women on the convention committee are serving tirelessly to make it an opportunity for you to continue your own change. All information on p. 30.

The author of this article describes how he came into the rooms of SA in 1999 with the purpose of getting his life back into order—but not to change.

I loved the issue on “Sober Living, Sober Dying” and wanted to add something about David M. I have always been ashamed of acting out with men, of being attracted to men. I did everything I could to cover up what I had done sexually. I tried to appear to be masculine to avoid arousing suspicion in others. I hated the questions about whether I had been married or had children. Being asked if I was dating was enough to make me sweat. I dated women to see if I could make it work. I couldn’t make those relationships work.

In response to the previous ESSAY edition, I wanted to share the following. I once asked Roy K. what he boiled recovery down to. He answered without hesitating, looking me right in the eye. “Stay sober, work your steps, and watch what God does.”

Men and Women in SA

NEXT EDITION—The June issue will be on the brave men and women working together on their common solution in the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous.

I have been addicted to lust since the age of 14. I was in therapy twice, but I never spoke the truth. I have had several miracle experiences in my life (one really BIG) with my Higher Power, but my HP was judgmental and I feared admitting my addiction to anyone. I tried the white-knuckle method once each year by ridding the computer of porn stash, but I didn’t stop the fantasy and sex with self every day.

برنامه معتادان جنسی گمنام هنوز در بیشتر زندان های سراسر جهان و ]ازجمله[ اروپا در دسترس نیست. اعتیادم مرا زندانی شهوت کرد. این وحشتناک بود که من به این فکر می کردم که با پیروی از شهوت، قید زندگیم را بزنم. نمی‌توانم تصور کنم که زندانی شهوت و هم‌زمان یک زندانی واقعی بودن چقدر سخت است

ما در انجمن، از یک شیوه بی نظیر جهت تغییر، مطلع می‌شویم. دعای آرامش ما،از « تمایل برای تغییر» ،صحبت می کند. در روزهای اولیه مان در برنامه،اعضای هوشیار با ما راجع به «داشتن اشتیاق و تمایل» برای تغییر، سخن می گویند

من در سال ۱۹۹۹ به SA آمدم.در شرایط بحرانی پس از یک دوره طولانی رفتار بد تکانشی که چند نفر را درگیر کرده بودم، اما درون خانواده خودم ویرانی را بجا گذاشته بود. من میزان ویرانی را متوجه نشده بودم، تا اینکه سالهای زیادی را با تمام قلبم در برنامه SA گذراندم

من ۴سال پیش به. SAآمدم. پیش از آن باور نداشتم که یک معتاد هستم. افکار خودکشی هر روزه آخرین ضربه ای بود که باعث شد من تسلیم شوم. بعد از شهوت (برون ریزی) احساس خوبی نداشتم فقط رنج عظیمی را احساس میکردم و نمیدانستم چه کار باید انجام بدهم یا چطور میتوانم به خودم کمک کنم .من همواره دعا میکردم خداوند راهی برای خلاصی از این وسواس فکری پیش پای من بگذارد