2006

Originally published in ESSAY, 2006, Issue Four

In the summer of 2001, I spoke with women in other 12 Step fellowships who identified themselves as having SA issues. At the time, only two women were active in SA groups in San Diego. Other women were reluctant to come to SA because the fellowship was mainly men. I began to think how lovely it would be to gather all of these women in one room so that they could hear that other women have similar issues. I thought of it as a one-time meeting. There had been three other attempts to have an SA women’s meeting throughout the years since 1987, when SA was started in San Diego, but somehow an ongoing SA women’s meeting did not take hold.

The first SA meeting for women was scheduled on a Sunday in November 2001. Eight women attended. After each briefly shared her story related to sexaholism, the women voted to meet weekly. We met for two months in a private home. We then decided to become part of San Diego’s SA Intergroup and be listed in the meeting schedule. The Intergroup supported our women’s group from the beginning and continues to do so today. We found a public place to meet on Sundays. Four of the original women have stayed as active members of the women’s group for the past five years. Newcomers would come and go. For a time I wondered if we would ever grow past the four founding members. This past year that is exactly what happened; at our last meeting we had eight women present!

The Women’s SA meeting is a great gift. We can share our brokenness, pain, struggles, and spiritual journey of recovery. We can listen to each other. Generally, the women eventually feel comfortable enough to attend mixed SA meetings, where they can learn from the experience, strength, and hope of the larger number of both men and women sexaholics.

All it took was four women who knew we needed each other on this journey. With the grace of God, women will continue to be there to support other women sexaholics who desire to begin recovery with the support of other women.