He Is in Charge

He Is in Charge

I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.

I feel comfortable and can share honestly regardless of gender because the fellows gathering in this group firmly incorporate and practice the content of “Closing Statement” of The Twelve and Twelve and Sexaholics Anonymous.

Generally speaking, in mixed-gender groups in Japan, female fellows tend not to settle in easily. In my case, I don’t fear the opposite gender, so I don’t feel uncomfortable continuing to participate. However, for fellows who are uncomfortable with the opposite gender, I feel that closed meetings are necessary.

I think that such fellows do not need to participate in mixed meetings by force. When it is necessary for that person to participate there, I believe God will make them aware of it. He is in charge.

I think it is most important to share one’s realizations and issues honestly, regardless of the gender of one’s fellows.

Since I have never experienced sexual abuse, there have been many times when I could not understand the sharing of female members. However, by participating in meetings and practicing the Steps, I have also learned to empathize with the sharing of women.

If female newcomers were to join my home group in the future, I would like to initiate conversation with them on the first occasion. If male members were to join, I would like to maintain a distance so as not to surprise them and simply greet them. Since the number of SA groups in Japan is small, I want to continue to be conscious of welcoming fellow attendees warmly to meetings in the future.

Irori, Saitama Prefecture, Japan

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