Je suis arrivé aux SA en 2008. Jusqu'alors, ma vie n'avait été qu'une succession de masturbation compulsive, de pornographie, de voyeurisme, d'exhibitionnisme et d'innombrables contacts furtifs ou d'aventures d'un soir avec d'autres hommes. La seule expérience de connexion était une relation abusive de plus de 20 ans avec un homme alcoolique.
Ma vie en rétablissement est pleine de miracles aujourd'hui - le plus grand d'entre eux est que je me remets de cette maladie, de cet esclavage à la luxure, pour lequel il n'y a pas de remède. Un autre grand miracle est que je suis reconnaissante aujourd'hui, alors que je ne l'étais jamais auparavant.
Je n'ai pas arrêté, j'ai capitulé. J'ai commencé mon cheminement dans ce programme lorsqu'une amie Al-Anon m'a dit que j'étais une sexolique. Pour lui prouver qu'elle avait tort, j'ai accepté d'assister à six réunions SA. Au cours de ces six réunions, j'ai lentement admis que j'étais une sexolique. Au début, je ne regardais pas les autres membres dans les yeux et je ne partageais pas. Il y avait six autres femmes SA à ma première réunion du groupe d'appartenance.
Au début, je pensais que le terme "sobriété" ne correspondait pas à l'idée que je me faisais d'un sexolique, car je n'avais aucune expérience de l'alcoolisme.
Clarity ... clarity is something that I need and wish to have and never lose. Clarity is something that I get when I pause, listen and think. Clarity is a God-given present when I take care of myself and others. Clarity is what I get when I don't let life challenges take over my brain. Clarity is what happens when I try to become a channel of Thy peace. Clarity is when my brain is clear and I can think in a healthy fashion.
I was sitting in the sun, trying to recuperate from an upper respiratory infection. The sun was shining so brightly as I was comfortably sitting in a lounge chair by the pool at the retirement center where we live. All of a sudden it turned dark. I looked up at the sky.
My story regarding accepting the SA sobriety definition begins when I was first dabbling in accountability and monitoring from others—but not yet in SA. My main goal was to stop masturbating, but I wasn't yet ready to give up sex outside of marriage and certainly didn't have a desire to stop lusting.
Four years before I came to SA, I sought help with a professional therapist. I was out of control and knew it, acting out in ways that put me in immediate danger of death. There was a titillating news story of a man who accidentally hung himself in a sexual escapade.
When I was still in the addiction and looking for a way to stop, I came across SA. I had approached SA before, a year earlier, but had done so only half-willingly, and at that time I never made it to a meeting. Needless to say, things got worse.
"Slowly but surely, some wisdom and humility began to creep in. I became more teachable. I found God working all around me where previously I was sure I had been alone. When I opened my eyes enough to see the miracle, it was right in front of my face. I was growing in God’s love" (AA 430).
