Thanksgiving
O God, I ask Your help Divine Whenever I must go online. I tell myself that I love art, Their sculpted forms; my heavy heart.
Rule 62
7 ½ Step Prayer My Creator, I am now willing that you should have some of me, as I see fit.
The Truth Shall Set You Free
Being rigorously honest has meant that I am truthful to myself about what I am thinking and feeling. I have a large capacity for self-deception. For instance, I was a very angry person but did not realize it. I had fears that controlled many of my actions. But if anyone had asked me if I was fearful, I would have said “no,” believing that to be an honest answer.
I Have No Control Over My Dreams
In early recovery, sexual dreams were a new and scary experience. Prior to sobriety, I had only experienced one “wet dream.” It occurred early in what turned out to be eleven and half years of celibacy. The only SA program literature available at the time seemed to indicate that these dreams were a loss of sobriety, so I re-set my sobriety date each time one occurred.
Strange Mental Blank Spots
When it comes to recovery, I have a learning disability. If I don’t hear program truths coming out of my own mouth and the mouths of others, I tend to forget what I’ve already learned.
Take the Next Right Action
My thinking is often confused when I get a lust hit. My fantasy goes on overdrive and I imagine several scenarios that seem very real and possible. Much of this is triggered and supported by emotions that make the fantasies appear reasonable: “Of course she wants me to stop my car, go over and hug her!”
My Source of Strength
Lack of power, that has been my dilemma. Not only am I powerless over lust, I am powerless over everything else.
Step Eight: Made a List and Became Willing
Although I have discovered a number of people I had harmed who did not appear in my Fourth Step, the list of people against whom I held resentments was an excellent place to begin. I had to remember that in the Eighth Step I was merely making the list.
Stayin’ Alive
I admit that, through lust, I have warped my mind into such an obsession for destructive acting-out that only an act of Providence can remove it. Lust bleeds me of all self-sufficiency and all will to resist its demands. I am bankrupt. My personal weakness is the firm bedrock upon which a happy and purposeful life can be built.
One-Hundred, Do I Hear a Hundred Dollars?
An open letter to my Oklahoma City SA and S-Anon friends! You provided a first class convention, hotel, meeting location, and down-home hospitality for the July 2004 convention.
