“Arrest and surrender in order to be set free—what a paradox!” (SA 83) Thus began my story of recovery on April 7, 1989, when my secret life lived in bondage to lust was shattered by an actual arrest, the resulting publicity, and the necessity of facing the literal question of whether to live or die.
I recently attended the 2013 international convention in Baltimore, and before the experience fades, I would like to take the action of expressing my gratitude in words to God and the fellowship.
In May 2002, I was separated from my wife of 17 years because of my addiction to pornography. We had two children: a 13-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. A professional counselor told them about my addiction.
Every person in recovery is different; every person in recovery is the same. That’s my conclusion after being among many fellow addicts in all stages of recovery. Unfortunately, I spent years stuck in the “white chip” stage of recovery—referring to the poker chip that many Twelve Step members pick up when starting or renewing the program.
When I was sober just over three months, a younger man asked me to sponsor him. He was shy and new to SA and I didn’t want to say no, so I said that I would be his temporary sponsor. When I called my sponsor to tell him what happened, he seemed skeptical and emphasized that I should definitely think of this as only temporary, since I myself was new to sobriety and Step work.
My name is Marie W., I’m a sexaholic, and my sobriety date is August 20, 2005. I came into SA because I was afraid I would die if I didn’t. I had started including self-inflicted pain in my acting-out behaviors. Today, because of SA, I’m learning to let go of old behaviors and replace them with healthy ones.
The first time I was confronted with a naked picture of a man and woman, it was in an educational book my mother gave me when I was in second grade. Despite experiencing the familiar rush of the forbidden and climbing on my roof with my friend to look at the pictures, I felt uncomfortable with the images.
My descent into addiction closely parallels the development of the Internet. In 1992, Newsweek featured a cover story highlighting this developing phenomenon. Around the same time, my employer gave us Internet access, and I started reading erotic stories online.
Dear SA Fellowship: Although contributions have been down for the first six months of 2013, we have experienced growth in other areas. Donations from Conventions have been outstanding—particularly for the Atlanta convention. And, although literature sales have been down (because no new literature has been offered), ESSAY subscriptions have grown.
Dear Fellow SA Members: The General Delegate Assembly met on Thursday and Friday, July 18-19, prior to the July convention. Attendees included Delegates, Alternates, Trustees, Trustee nominees, representatives from SAICO, and observers.
