The man I used to be died on May 7, 2009. As I was speeding down the passing lane of a St. Louis Interstate, my eyes were filled with tears and my hands were clenched in fists of rage as my choked up voice screamed in agony and disbelief. I was only seconds away from yanking the steering wheel hard to the left to send my car into the cement wall median in an effort to end my life.
Yes, my mother once stabbed me. I was probably 15 years old when it happened. I am now 72. I could never use the word “stab” until I had been sexually sober for many years in SA.
As a loner in the southwest of the UK, I had been accustomed to keeping in close touch with other members of the fellowship in the British Isles by phone. However, in the Summer of 2011, I became even more of a loner. I moved to China to work for some months.
I first came to SA on November 27, 1992, and I’ve been sober ever since. When someone asks me what I’ve done to stay sober, my answer is always the same: “I don’t know. I did not do it; I have a Higher Power who shows me that He can do it.” I thank God every day for my sobriety—but I’m in a very hard place today.
To The Fellowship: Your trusted servants at SAICO wish to thank the fellowship for stepping forward to support the Quarterly Appeal during our time of financial need over the past seven years.
The SACFC has been active in finding new ways to help carry the message inside prison walls. We recently developed a form letter that CFC representatives can use for contacting their local prison commissioners. We plan to post the letter to make it easily accessible to regional CFCs.
Dear Fellow SA Members: This past year I have been blessed to attend many home group meetings, business meetings, and service meetings. As I reflect on my gratitude for the blessings and peace I find throughout our fellowship, I would like to offer a meditation on the topic of “meetings” from the writings of Roy K., published in Discovering the Principles: Our Growing Experience with the Traditions.
As gift, I recently received a very beautiful pendant. I learned that the minimum number of cuts a diamond is required to have in order to meet certain specifications is 52. This diamond was not ordinary: it had 72 cuts or 72 beautiful facets with which to reflect the many colors of light.
Start the New Year in fellowship by joining us for a weekend of recovery, fun, and inspiration at our winter convention at the Ramada Hotel in Birmingham, UK. I have found that the farther I travel to a convention, the more my recovery seems to benefit.
I happened to notice while reading Beginnings: Notes on the Origin and Early Growth of SA that the “first issue of the SA newsletter with the ESSAY masthead” was printed November 15, 1981 (14). That means ESSAY is 30 years old this year!
