Thank You to Outgoing Essay Editor
Lawrence M., Essay editor for the last ten years, has decided to turn to other projects.
Freedom from Lust
Thank you very much. It is beautiful to be with you. I have looked for this opportunity for some time and now it is here.
Why Stop Lusting?
Most of us in Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) were driven to total despair by our destructive sexual behavior. We found as soon as we came here that our lust was the problem. It was hard to believe. How could it be the problem? And, how could we live without its comfort? It didn’t make sense. But we had no choice.
Good-bye, Addiction
Dear Addiction, Thank you for being there for all these years, and for being a friend to me when I felt alone. Thank you for being a coping mechanism and a safe place I could go when I felt bad, lonely, upset, or depressed. You always delivered and made things better.
Rest in Peace
Jesse L. of Bozeman, Montana, died February 24, 2000. Although noted in many fields, he is remembered in SA for his devotion to the SA fellowship.
SACC
At the January 1998 International Conference in Daytona Beach, Florida, the Trustees and Delegates of Sexaholics Anonymous created the SACC Literature Fund. The SACC was directed to “implement a plan to encourage donations from intergroups to cover literature costs for prisoners.” No one knew at that time exactly how we would go about doing this or what the response would be. By the end of the year, however, members had contributed $5,342.99 to the fund.
In Doing the Steps, I Saw My Part
I was born into a large extended family in eastern Canada. My father held down two jobs and operated a mixed farm with his father. My mother was young and overwhelmed with responsibility. When my father was home I would try to talk to him and do things with him but I had little or no success. I realize today he was trying to recapture some much needed sleep.
S-Anon Corner
The whole concept of “sexual anorexia” is an issue for me. Some therapists seem to use the term to describe someone who is sexually shut down from their partner. However, “sexual anorexia” is not an S-Anon approved term. One thing we do know for sure that is supported by both SA and S-Anon is mutual abstinence: 1) it ensures a drying out period for the sexaholic; 2) it allows a period of time to focus on our own recovery and regain other aspects of intimacy and friendship in our lives that were lost or never before experienced. It is a time to learn that, in fact, sex is “optional” (see SA Solution in the “White Book”).
The Daily Sobriety Renewal
My name is Bill; I’m a sexaholic, sober for four years and two months. One of the most effective tools in my recovery has been the daily renewal. The renewal is a daily ritual in which two people in the program ask each other six challenging questions. By thoughtfully answering “yes” to each question, one is making a truly active choice to stay sober.
Feedback Corner
I just finished reading the Essay article entitled “A Safe Haven?” (Fall 1999, p. 12). I was reminded of similar experiences I had at an AA meeting a few years ago. At my home group we had a member who suffered from grave emotional and mental difficulties, and who didn’t seem to be benefiting much from not drinking. I no longer recall whether he was on or needed to be taking medication for his condition, but I remember his rage and threatening comments.
