English

Not Feeding the Hunger Didn’t Kill Me

My sponsor used to say to me, “Why Feed the Wolf? Let It Starve,” referring to the lust residing in my brain. At first, I partially agreed with him. Deep down, though, I believed that this lust was integral to my character, to who I am, even though I knew that it was killing me, killing my soul. I struggled with the idea of letting it starve. I associated hunger with food and believed that, if I were hungry, the only solution was to eat; calling a fellow, attending a meeting, or praying to alleviate the feeling of hunger won’t put food in my belly. Likewise, I projected that only acting out could feed my lust hunger. I eventually realized that this perspective is false, but it took me a couple of years to truly grasp it.

By |2023-10-18T11:06:16-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on Not Feeding the Hunger Didn’t Kill Me
Read More

The Disease Lives Between Our Ears

This article is about relapse prevention. However, deep down inside of me, I am uncomfortable writing about this. I feel relapse prevention applies to people who are sober. It is about how to prevent people from relapsing once they get sober. My belief is that many people do not get sober although they think they are sober. How can I make such a statement?

By |2025-05-09T15:39:36-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on The Disease Lives Between Our Ears
Read More

Daily Practice of the Program Keeps Me Sober

My home group is in St. Petersburg, Russia, but one year ago I moved to Hanoi, Vietnam, where there are few other recovering sexaholics. My recovery started the day I came to an SA meeting. Since that day my life has changed a lot, and it is still changing. I am grateful for everything, past, present, and future. My life is happening exactly as the God of my understanding wants, so I accept everything life brings to me. I want to live this life.

By |2024-08-23T12:27:32-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on Daily Practice of the Program Keeps Me Sober
Read More

It’s God and Me for the Rest of My Life

I’ve been a sexaholic my whole life, and it’s the most important fact in my life. I’ve other addictions and other Fellowships also. Sexaholism is not the one which would kill me quickest, as the saying goes, but it is the major focus of my life in recovery, being the most all-encompassing and all-pervasive of them.

By |2024-08-23T12:28:27-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on It’s God and Me for the Rest of My Life
Read More

SA Is Growing in Hungary

In Hungary, SA was founded in September 2019. We currently have three weekly meetings, two online and one hybrid, but there is real interest in Monday's hybrid meeting in Budapest. Participation activity varies—members come and go—but we have about six to eight returning members. The meeting types are varied and include free sharing, SA White Book reading, AA Big Book reading, and speaker meetings.

By |2023-10-18T11:07:34-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on SA Is Growing in Hungary
Read More

A Postcard for You

This is a postcard I sent from the Cracow Convention, where I asked fellow attendees to write something or at least their names for my home group in Italy. It was a meaningful experience for me to engage with both familiar faces and newly met fellows, offering a small way to "carry the message" to those who couldn't be present. Additionally, it could serve as a bridge from our group to the larger SA fellowship. There were many names written, reflecting various languages and alphabets. My only regrets? Not buying a larger postcard to collect even more messages, and not using colored pens.

By |2024-05-17T16:35:26-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on A Postcard for You
Read More

Surrendering Each and Every Tiny Temptation

In the beginning of recovery, when I was struggling to find long-term sobriety, every relapse seemed like a death sentence. This was a delusion and a lie. Who was judging me? Not my Higher Power. I was the judge, and again I was making myself the god and center of my world. My Higher Power never stopped desiring a relationship with me. He was and is the real center of the world. He was not concerned about judging me. His intention was to call me away from bondage to lust because it blocked our relationship. For this reason, guilt did not serve me. Guilt distracted my attention from seeking help from my HP and from the help of others in the SA fellowship.

By |2023-10-18T11:05:38-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on Surrendering Each and Every Tiny Temptation
Read More

Sponsorship Is the Best Relapse Prevention

I met my sponsor at an online SA meeting that I had never before attended. The fact that both I and my future sponsor decided to join that same meeting on the same day is evidence of my Higher Power’s love for me. Meeting him came at a time when I felt alone and disconnected, longing to feel loved and understood by my Higher Power.

By |2023-10-18T11:05:02-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on Sponsorship Is the Best Relapse Prevention
Read More

Half Measures Availed Me Nothing

Trying to control my sexual lust is like trying to predict the weather. Sometimes I can do it successfully. However, most of the time, I fail miserably. Lust is cunning so I end up fooling myself into thinking that I can control it. The measure of my success in controlling lust is the measure of my self-deception that I am able to control it. If I go for an evening without acting out, I magnify it so that it looks like a major breakthrough in my battle against this cunning, baffling, and powerful disease.

By |2023-10-18T11:06:02-05:00October 6, 2023|Comments Off on Half Measures Availed Me Nothing
Read More

Get in touch

Legal

Contributions

Thank you for keeping our worldwide magazine available.

ESSAY_Logo_Tr_250_74__

Copyright © 1981 – 2025  Sexaholics Anonymous ESSAY Magazine

SA.ORG
This website uses cookies to enhance your user experience by clicking the accept button, you agree to the website doing so. OK