There was a time when I wondered why God brought me into this world. I always felt that my life was meaningless. I had such difficulty fitting in and belonging anywhere. My childhood was very difficult, full of traumas. I could never understand why I had to go through it all or what purpose all that pain served. Lust entered my life at age six when a family member sexually abused me.
A few days ago one of my dearest friends came up to me with good news. “I have a boyfriend!” she said. I was so happy for her. She really deserves it. I was always asking myself why someone as beautiful, kind and smart as she is wasn’t in a relationship. I even thought that maybe she had some kind of problem, like my sexaholism. Then it struck me that now I was (and still I am) the only single girl amongst my various groups of friends.
Loneliness, rejection, and fear have acted as a soundtrack in my head for as long as I can remember. They form rhythm and melodies filled with dissonance. Each track is made complete with a verse, chorus, and bridge:
Laughing is part of recovery! Here is one of my favorite AA jokes:
Your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. Your letter was not anticipated so receiving it made it all the more special. I am grateful to have had 18 months between being “busted” and being arrested in which time I was able to become sexually sober, attend SA meetings, work the Steps with a sponsor, reunite with old friends in AA, and receive professional therapy.
Your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. Your letter was not anticipated so receiving it made it all the more special. I am grateful to have had 18 months between being “busted” and being arrested in which time I was able to become sexually sober, attend SA meetings, work the Steps with a sponsor, reunite with old friends in AA, and receive professional therapy.
Do I help others to experience fun in recovery? Fun in recovery was the last thing on Mat’s mind when he first stepped in the rooms. But in SA he became part of the excitement around conventions; was pleasantly surprised by members wanting to connect with him; and came to experience the priceless joy of serving.
I joined SA in pandemic times, two years ago, which was a good thing in one way, as there were very many daily Zoom meetings available. This was crucial to safeguarding my physical sobriety, countless times. I got something of a reputation as a strange Brit, who showed up at all hours of the night in USA meetings, for this reason. I saw it as going to any lengths.
“Fun in Recovery”—it sounded most unrealistic at first. But we kept coming back and over time, we developed a liking for meetings and for connection with other members. By working our program we came to see the positives in every situation and even started to enjoy life’s rainy days. We, who used to be habitual moaners, now actively looked about us for reasons to be cheerful and grateful.
The AA Big Book says, “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.” (AA 83) Of course I see how many promises came true during the online inter-regional convention hosted by the Europe and Middle East Region (EMER) and the Persian-Speaking Region (PSR) on April 8 and 9, 2022.
