Dear Essay readers: When we arrive at our first SA meeting, the motivation is almost always a mix of fear and of pain. That’s what it takes to get our attention, it seems. When we sit in an SA meeting and identify with the shares of one another, the realization dawns that we can find freedom from the pain and the fears.
By the time I was five I already had a developed capacity for sexual fantasy. I imagined having sex with the biology skeleton in the kindergarten classroom.
When I first started attending SA, it was a breath of fresh air. After coming to meetings and listening others share, I was able to admit my weaknesses and faults. Before I could not admit I was a “sex, pornography and lust addict.” When I finally did, a great feeling of relief came over me.
One of the ways I continued in my addiction and acting out was by going to Sexaholics Anonymous meetings. (No, that is not a typo!) That was because going to meetings was all I wanted to have to do to stop acting out. I wanted an “easier, softer way.” I wanted to design my own program, and that meant just going to meetings. But, going to meetings didn’t keep me sober.
The contract starts by saying “God, I’m checking in.” Then I say the Serenity Prayer and the first three Steps. Next, comes the Third Step prayer. I repeat a line from that prayer until I really mean it — “Relieve me from the bondage of self” still loosens my chest every morning.
After I had about a year of sobriety, a friend of mine in the program asked me for a favor: Would I go with him to the local internet customer service center to be sure he would follow through with his decision to have his internet service disconnected?
A member Ian L. of SA in Galway, Ireland, went missing on the 9th of March 2016. He left a note. It was feared that he had drowned himself in the sea. After eleven days his body was recovered at Aughinish, on Galway Bay. The news shocked members in the Galway Group, in Europe, in the UK and the USA.
We mourn the passing of Mike P., who left a legacy of service on the SA Correctional Facilities Committee. Mike joined the SACFC in the early years, when it was a challenge to recruit workers. At that time, he was recently out of prison himself, and for the remainder of his life he corresponded with many prisoners.
The preliminary financial results of fiscal 2015 were all good news. The budget began with a possible shortfall of $26,000. With good year-end results, this became a $17,000 surplus instead, in spite of many computer repairs and necessary updates to SAICO office equipment. This surplus goes directly into the Prudent Reserve for future projects.
What solutions to despair have worked for you?
