Writing and journaling have helped me process the emotions of the end of my 30-year relationship with my wife. I am powerless over what happens to me and I’m powerless over the resulting emotions, but I am not powerless over how I deal with my feelings.
We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” (AA 47). Only one question? Too simple. Or so I think when I’m trying too hard to solve all my problems at once.
I know all about doing a quick “1-2-3” when I am confronted with an obvious threat to my sobriety. For example: Should I go to the party when I know “she” will be there? In those moments, I mentally go through Steps One, Two, and Three, which I summarize as: “I can’t, He can, so let Him!”
In my addiction, I harmed many people whose names I don’t even remember. As I was considering how to make amends to these people, my sponsor pointed me to a passage in the White Book: “There is always some way to make an amends, even when the injured person is dead, lost, or nameless. …
As a sexaholic, I have a hard time dealing with life. I look at other people who seem to have it all together and wish somehow that my insides could look the way they look on the outside. Of course, I’m just kidding myself because I know that most people do not always look on the outside as they feel on the inside.
About ten years ago (three years before I came to SA), I was looking for a card to give my wife on Mother’s Day—more out of obligation than anything else. I hated Mother’s Day. As I began to read the different cards, I was filled with a mixture of pain, sadness, and rage.
I have been sexually sober now for 28 years. When I first came into SA, the fear of relapsing (and of the subsequent pain that relapse caused) helped me to maintain my sobriety. Fear of getting another venereal disease, fear of being arrested, fear of losing my wife and family, and fear of getting further into financial difficulties all seemed paramount to me. But today I know that fear and pain are not enough to keep me sober.
Dear Fellow SA Members, 2011 was financially a very good year for SAICO operations. We finished the year with a $4,088 net gain compared to a budgeted $4,300 net loss. Total revenue exceeded budget by just under $15,000 (6.4%). Increased literature sales and ESSAY subscriptions accounted for $12,500 of the revenue excess. Convention revenues accounted for the remainder.
Dear Fellow SA Members: We have received requests to check different websites that offer free PDF downloads of the SA White Book and sell SA literature from locations other than SAICO online and SA Publications.
This past November, many of us celebrated the blessings we enjoy as citizens of the United States. Tradition has it that the early British settlers held a Thanksgiving meal with the natives who had helped them bring forth a bountiful harvest that year.
