1981-2021: 40 YEARS OF ESSAY
The words of Step Two roll off my lips. “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” They are so easy to repeat. I think, “Of course I believe in a Higher Power, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.” I ask myself, “Really?”
When Eddie Rickenbacker’s plane ran out of gas over the Pacific during World War II, he and his crew were in a perilous situation. Adrift on the ocean with three rafts and four oranges, they had to pull together or die.
I’m Barbara, a grateful sexaholic, sober since December 12, 2001 and Essay editor newsletter since March 2007. I’m grateful to the fellowship for allowing me to be of service all these years; this has been one of the biggest blessings of my recovery.
It was my privilege to serve as Essay editor during the years 1999-2000. My service term was short, but memorable. I could not always keep pace with the Essay production schedule. I will always admire those before and after me who have produced regular Essay issues full of inspiring material. We owe them a debt of gratitude. Theirs is not an easy task.
Lust addiction and sexual acting-out brought me into SA, but it was the spirituality of the SA literature and deeper spiritual fellowship I found in SA meetings that kept me coming back and called me to perform service in SA. With a background in writing and editing, I served on the SA Literature Committee that edited the White Book and Recovery Continues as well as other SA literature.
When I arrived at Sexaholics Anonymous in August, 1988, the periodic mailings from the Simi Valley Central Office in California were carefully read. While I have a fairly complete set of Essays from 1991 on, I only have a few samples of the earlier issues.
An SA friend had what seemed like an old copy of a book in his pocket. It was all rolled up. It turned out to be the Essay magazine. He asked if I wanted to read it and I said yes. There is a certain nostalgia to getting that paper all rolled up having been used by many people in recovery before me. Me being just the next lucky drunk to get to hold it for a bit.
My first encounter with Essay was in 2016, when I was a couple of months sober from lust. My first sponsor sent me the magazine, along with a step-by-step assignment and other SA literature. Admittedly, the magazine looked unusual—it was a Word file with several translated articles.
How do I encapsulate what the Essay magazine means to me and my recovery? I look forward to each issue like a kid heading to a candy store. I can’t wait to read each and every article, and typically enjoy a good laugh at the cartoons which invariably include nuggets of wisdom that broaden my recovery toolbox.
I am a very grateful sexaholic and member of SA. My first experience of SA came in 2006, but unable to see the problem clearly, I left and did not return until 2012. I attended another S-fellowship for a time and saw a friend walking with someone I knew was an SA member. This prompted me to return to SA.
