Hace poco me pidieron que escribiera un artículo para Essay sobre la sobriedad emocional. Mi primera reacción fue un no rotundo. Quería negarme porque sé, en el fondo de mi corazón, que la mayoría de las personas en SA tienen dificultad para alcanzar la sobriedad emocional dado que a duras penas pueden alcanzar la sobriedad de la lujuria. En ese momento me di cuenta de que, en vez de negarme, necesitaba compartir mi experiencia, fortaleza y esperanza desde otra perspectiva. Necesitaba escribir sobre los obstáculos que he visto los últimos 38 años en nuestra fraternidad.

Hace 27 años entré en una sala llena de hombres: ¿Qué esperaba? Pensé que encontraría gente sucia y callada. Afortunadamente me equivoqué completamente con mis expectativas. Vi una sala llena de hombres normales y corrientes como los que podía ver en mi trabajo o en un grupo de amigos.

۲۷ سال پیش وارد اتاقی پر از مرد شدم… چه انتظاری داشتم؟ پیش خودم فکر می کردم افرادی را ببینم که کثیف و مرموز به نظر می رسند. اما خوشبختانه انتظارات من کاملاً اشتباه بود. من اتاقی را دیدم که پر از مردان معمولی بود، درست مانند آنچه که ممکن است در محل کار یا بیرون، زمانی که با دوستانم هستم، ببینم.

I practice no organized religion, but I may refer to specific religious traditions here because of their being examples related to my journey. In November 1985 I stopped acting out by means of chemical castration. This was because of life-threatening behaviors that were occurring as a part of my acting out. There was no emotional or spiritual treatment combined with it.

I’m Nicholas and I’m a sexaholic. I acted out with pornography, masturbation, prostitution, adultery, promiscuity, sexualizing men, women, children, animals and objects, voyeurism and exhibitionism, romantic fantasy, sexual intrigue, and emotional affairs. And by the grace of God and the program of Sexaholics Anonymous, I haven’t had to do any of that stuff for over 27 years and for that I am incredibly grateful.

I was recently asked to write an article for the Essay on Emotional Sobriety. At first my reaction was to say “No.” I wanted to say No because I felt, deep down, that most people in SA have difficulty reaching Emotional Sobriety since they can barely reach “lust sobriety.”

27 years ago I walked into a room full of men … what did I expect? I thought I would see people that looked dirty and secretive. Thankfully my expectations were completely wrong. I saw a room full of ordinary men just like I might see at work or out with friends.

Lorsque je suis arrivé aux SA, j’ai demandé à un homme qui avait plusieurs années de sobriété d’être mon parrain. Quelques mois plus tard, alors que j’étais prêt à commencer l’étape 4, j’ai découvert qu’il n’avait jamais travaillé les Étapes.

When I first arrived in SA, I asked a man who had several years of sobriety to be my sponsor. A few months later, when I was ready to start Step 4, I discovered that he had never worked the Steps.

It was my privilege to serve as Essay editor during the years 1999-2000. My service term was short, but memorable. I could not always keep pace with the Essay production schedule. I will always admire those before and after me who have produced regular Essay issues full of inspiring material. We owe them a debt of gratitude. Theirs is not an easy task.

Lust addiction and sexual acting-out brought me into SA, but it was the spirituality of the SA literature and deeper spiritual fellowship I found in SA meetings that kept me coming back and called me to perform service in SA. With a background in writing and editing, I served on the SA Literature Committee that edited the White Book and Recovery Continues as well as other SA literature.

I am Harvey A. My sobriety date is March 8, 1984. I can hardly believe that I am now 81 years old and have been sexually sober for more than 37 years.

I came to my first SA meeting in Karlsruhe, Germany, on Sunday, May 26, 1985. I was one of three newcomers at a meeting of 20 men and women. As newcomers we were required to give a brief First Step in the form of answering set questions. Before I came to the meeting, I threw out my pornography. I also threw out phone numbers and addresses of women I knew from other 12-Step fellowships. I stopped acting out sexually.

Sobriety began for me in Nashville in May 1986. We were a small band of six or seven persons meeting once per week trying to avoid the terrible consequences of our acting out.

When I joined SLAA in October 1994, there was no SA in Ireland. In February 1995, an SA member who was a friend of one of our members, came over from the USA and attended our SLAA meeting. I had not heard of SA yet. He told us about sponsoring, working the Steps, phone calls, check-ins, and fellowship after the meetings.

As a pre-school age child, I learned how to use a vibrator as a sex toy. That’s how it all began. I had never heard the word “sex” and knew nothing of sexual intimacy. But I knew what felt good, and was immediately hooked.

I was exposed to men’s magazines at the age of seven and didn’t realize it was abuse. At the age of nine, I was sexually abused by another girl, who was 10, and experienced a lot of confusion. The confusion increased when I was sort of forcibly converted to Catholicism at the age of 11, which led to a whole load of guilt.

My name is Sylvia and I am a grateful recovering sexaholic. I was a lonely child. I was a daydreamer. I was never present. Growing up people would tell me things I wouldn’t hear because I was always off in my head somewhere.

Imagine a little girl lost inside a book, playing the piano and always alone but feeling safe. Her world brought her happiness. What was happening around her? Sometimes being in the moment it felt too full of other’s expectations, never fitting in, always different from what she saw on the outsides of others.

My name is Bill, and I am a recovered sexaholic. My sobriety date is September 4, 1993, and for that I am never sufficiently grateful. When I arrived in SA, I was hopeless and suicidally depressed from over 35 years of untreated addiction.