Je n’étais pas marié lorsque je suis entré en SA à l’âge de 26 ans. Je suis devenu sobre et je le suis resté après plusieurs rendez-vous et relations. J’ai rencontré ma femme après 16 ans de sobriété. Je suis resté sobre tout au long de notre relation et de nos 12 ans de mariage (jusqu’à présent).

Mam na imię Dave i wychodzę z seksoholizmu, trzeźwy seksualnie od 1 sierpnia 1985 roku dzięki łasce Boga i tej cudownej Wspólnocie. Przyszedłem do Wspólnoty, gdy rozstałem się z moją pierwszą żoną, mając nadzieję na uratowanie mojego małżeństwa. Po dwóch latach trzeźwości jednak się rozwiedliśmy, a dzięki łasce Boga wiedziałem z pewnością, że nie powinienem być w żadnym związku romantycznym, a tym bardziej poważnym.

Kiedy wstąpiłem do SA, byłem kawalerem i miałem 26 lat. Wytrzeźwiałem i pozostałem trzeźwy przez kilka randek i związków. Poznałem moją żonę po 16 latach trzeźwości. Pozostałem trzeźwy przez okres zalotów i 12 lat małżeństwa (jak dotąd).

اسمي ديف، وأنا سكسهولك اتعافى ، وأنا رصين جنسيا منذ الأول من أغسطس 1985 بفضل الله وهذا الزمالة الرائعة. انضممت إلى الزمالة عندما انفصلت عن زوجتي الأولى على أمل إنقاذ زواجي. وبعد عامين من الرصانة، كنا لا زلنا منفصلين. بفضل الله، أدركت تمامًا أنه لا ينبغي لي الدخول في أي نوع من العلاقات العاطفية، ناهيك عن الالتزام بعلاقة جدية. جاءني هذا الوضوح أثناء حضوري اجتماعات في مركز يقدم ينصح الأشخاص من عائلات الكحوليين. كنت حينها رصينا لمدة عام ونصف

كنت أعزباً عندما دخلت س. م بعمر 26. أصبحتُ رصيناً وبقيت رصيناً رغم عدد من المواعدات والعلاقات. التقيت بزوجتي بعد 16 سنة من الرصانة. وبقيت رصيناً خلال مواعدتنا و12 سنة في الزواج (حتى الآن)

My name is Dave, I’m a recovering sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since August 1, 1985 by the grace of God and this wonderful Fellowship. I came into the Fellowship when I separated from my first wife hoping to save my marriage. After two years of sobriety, we still divorced, and by the grace of God, I knew absolutely that I had no business being in any kind of romantic relationship, much less a committed one.

I was unmarried when I entered SA at the age of 26. I got sober and stayed sober though several dates and relationships. I met my wife after 16 years of sobriety. I remained sober through our courtship and 12 years of marriage (so far).

In the early 1980s, the seeds of SA were sown in Germany, marking the beginning of a transformative journey for many sexaholics. This writing will tell of some pivotal moments and key players that shaped SA in Germany, highlighting its growth and impact.

At my first meeting of Sexaholics Anonymous, I heard someone read “The Problem,” and I knew that I was in the right place. In the White Book Roy wrote:

I am greatly honored to have been asked to write the foreword to this issue of the ESSAY on lust.

The chapter in the White Book titled “Lust—The Force Behind the Addiction,” is, in my view, a magnificent introduction to the underpinnings of what lust is really all about. In that chapter Roy defines lust as “an attitude demanding that a natural instinct serve unnatural desires” (SA 40). That was certainly my experience.

There’s a saying, “Recovery is peace and serenity in the midst of the storm.” And Priscilla has known many storms. Today, after more than 30 years of sexual sobriety, she has tools to stay the course during storms.

Out of gratitude to SA for giving me a chance at life and love, I felt it my duty and responsibility to serve the still-suffering sexaholic as an SA Trustee. Our principles, gleaned from the growing pains of AA and SA, made it clear to me that SA wouldn’t exist without rotating service and leadership, so I believe it is the responsibility of every qualified member to sincerely consider taking a turn as a Trustee.

How does one become an oldtimer? It is very simple. Stay sober one day at a time, and do not die. Everything else is detail.

I am convinced that the book Alcoholics Anonymous is correct when it says that “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.” Selfishness is a spiritual malady, a spiritual problem rooted deeply in my being. I consider or evaluate everything by how it affects me. My fears are self-centered. A lot can be written about selfishness. It is enough to say that it is what causes my problems.

I loved the issue on “Sober Living, Sober Dying” and wanted to add something about David M. I have always been ashamed of acting out with men, of being attracted to men. I did everything I could to cover up what I had done sexually. I tried to appear to be masculine to avoid arousing suspicion in others. I hated the questions about whether I had been married or had children. Being asked if I was dating was enough to make me sweat. I dated women to see if I could make it work. I couldn’t make those relationships work.

Roy K. saved my life, just as his inspirations and guidance have helped save most of our lives. Roy gave me hope, something I had lost a decade prior to meeting him. Roy helped me find my soul, my conscience, my humanity, my spirituality, and my Higher Power.

Two oldtimers who knew Jess L. personally share some of their personal experiences about this very inspiring member in this ESSAY interview.

Jim Egan played a big role in my early SA years. I loved his shares, which were always a loving, humble meander. I’m grateful to have learned from his shares to be loving and humble myself. Always with a smile on his face, he also helped me feel comfortable at the SA International Conventions I attended.

My name is David, I am a sexaholic. And by the grace of my Higher Power, my sobriety date is August 2, 1988, for which I can never be sufficiently grateful. That credit goes to my Higher Power, that’s for sure. I was sitting at dinner and was figuring it’s been thirty-one years, five months, and eight days. And every one of those in their own way has been a miracle. And that’s a little bit of what I’d like to share tonight. I was told after my first year of sobriety that it keeps getting better. And that has been the simple description of my experience in Sexaholics Anonymous, that it keeps getting better.