To the Essay:
After six years of continuous struggle in Sexaholics Anonymous, my Higher Power granted me the gift of sobriety. My sobriety date is the 5 September 1993.

Whenever I get into negative or obsessive thinking, I try to remember the great promise of recovery from sex and lust addiction as I first experienced it. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when first we learned of something that would forever change our lives, especially something that promised us freedom from a hopeless state of mind and body.

Dear Essay,
Sylvia J. in Oklahoma, USA said “join SA and see the world.” I have just spent a month sharing at conventions, workshops and with individuals the joys of recovery.

I am humbled by the out-pouring of love given to me on my 30th year anniversary. Sometimes I believe I am a fraud. Maybe one of those fantasies were not a fantasy and I did act out? Maybe one of those wet dreams were not really a wet dream?

I have been thinking about some of the old-timers that I have been blessed to know. When I came into the program in 1990 there were Roy K. and Jess L. and Harvey A. Being from Oklahoma and I was in meetings with her, I knew Sylvia J. There have been some other wonderful people.

As we are present in Germany since 1984 with the first SA group starting in Karlsruhe, we have already translated the majority of the English books, brochures and flyers into German and they are used as conference approved SA literature in German SA meetings.

For many sexaholics English is a second language. I am not a language expert. However, I have noticed that issues arise for SAs using English in readings and discussion. A person’s mother tongue is their heart and gut language. When talking about childhood issues, family of origin issues, in my opinion, this is the language that needs to be used.

My name is Roy and I’m a sexaholic. I’m standing here in the West LA Saturday night meeting and I’m talking to a large group of sex drunks. This is where the first meeting of Sexaholics Anonymous (I think in the world) took place in this room on January 25, 1981. Through this recording I’ll be also talking to the international convention.

My wife and I were asked to give a SA/S-Anon workshop in Toronto. We planned a vacation around this trip, including driving to St. Louis from Nashville and then continue the drive to Toronto via Niagara Falls. This was a bit optimistic for a 79 year old man, but sanity has not been one of my stronger qualities!

For me this is a Program of action. I use a handful of coins with newcomers as a tool to explain Steps 1 through 3.

During the July SA International Conference in St. Louis the Essay had the pleasure of meeting Helmut M. from Germany. Since 1989 Helmut has provided the translations of SA literature into German. During visits to Germany Roy K. stayed with Helmut in his home. He later stayed with Roy and Iris in Simi Valley, California.

In 1993, my wife and I led a church singles ministry. During a pool party at a single’s house while playing catch, my six-year-old son looked at me and said, “Daddy, why do you keep looking around? Why don’t you just play catch with me?” I believe that was the first time anyone spoke to me about my looking at the women around me.

My wife and I were babysitting two of our grandchildren for the weekend. On Saturday afternoon I was keeping my grandson company, lounging next to him on the couch with my legs up on a hassock as he watched his favorite television program.

I just read the Essay. Really enjoyed it. I offer a short quote in response to the February 2018 issue on mixed meetings:

I would be disappointed to stop using the original SA logo [Essay, February 2018] with its rich history and symbolism.

Okay everyone. Wow! I’m Harvey A., sexaholic from Nashville, TN. I’ve been sexually sober thirty-three years and ten months. But there is someone in this room who has more sobriety and who is a pioneer of pioneers. To be a woman, and the oldest in sobriety basically, and to break these frontiers, Sylvia, would you stand? [Applause]

I came in fearful and trembling as a newcomer to SA. My first meeting didn’t really happen. I arrived fifteen minutes early and the door was still locked. So I sat in my car to wait and watched as one, two, three, four, five men arrived, one at a time. No women. I was too frightened to go in.

“Must be nice to go to all those places and have them pay.”
I do hear that said from time to time. First, let me say that I get more out of speaking places than anyone else. I love the chance to share my Experience, Strength, and Hope with others.

The Old-Timers’ panel in Newark last summer was comprised of Dee (1987), Tom (1987), Pat (1996), Mitch A. (1985), Margo C. (1986), and Harvey A. (1984). Part I was in the December Essay.

Dear Essay,
The program states in the 12th Step, “We tried to carry this message to sexaholics…” and the 5th tradition, “Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers.”