My name is Chuck, and I’m a recovering sexaholic. I’ve been sexually sober since June 3, 2013. When I was 12, I began looking at various magazines, seeking out pictures of women in them, and I would sneak them home to act out. At 13, while babysitting, I found pornographic magazines and began looking at women as sex objects.
Last July, I began serving as the CFC chair for the Los Angeles Intergroup. The mission of SA’s CFC is to carry our message to incarcerated sexaholics, and one way to do this is to participate in CFC’s Sponsor-by-Mail program. So early in my service, I introduced a Prisoner Correspondence Format in one of our groups (see format below).
I woke up this morning thanking God. Then I prayed this simple prayer: “God grant that I may love Thee always and follow Thy will. Do with me according to Thy will.” Then I did my daily readings. It wasn’t always that way. Today I’m enjoying over three years of sexual sobriety. But again, it wasn’t always that way….
SA’s Sponsor-by-Mail program, sponsored by SA’s Correctional Facilities Committee (CFC), is our primary means of carrying the SA message to prisoners. Unfortunately, at the CFC meeting this past May, we learned that the number of SA members available to sponsor prisoners by mail has been dwindling.
“I’m a recovering sexaholic and I’m making a program call.” These words are a bit harder to say from the inside of a jail cell. Nevertheless, even in here I can get current, I can reach out, and I can get out of isolation—just by writing this letter. Even though I’m stuck in a cell 21 to 23 hours each day, I still have the tools to grow in recovery and have a positive sobriety—by doing all I can for the sexaholic who still suffers.
Dear SA Fellowship, As I celebrate three years of sobriety, I want to thank the SA fellowship for being such a large part of my life. The years I spent running around like a fool in your rooms were the best of my life. I greatly miss our regular fellowship, but I am so very grateful to still be connected with you in the way that I am.
I’m bored. That’s a dangerous place for me to be, because one of my stronger lust triggers is boredom. I’m locked in my cell, waiting to be called to an appointment. I walk back and forth—window, door, window, door—with the occasional stop at the cupboard to see if I’ve overlooked some food item. Food can be a medication to relieve my boredom, just as lust can.
As a sexaholic, I have a hard time dealing with life. I look at other people who seem to have it all together and wish somehow that my insides could look the way they look on the outside. Of course, I’m just kidding myself because I know that most people do not always look on the outside as they feel on the inside.
I am a convicted felon and a registered sex offender, and I’m very grateful to have passed through my second anniversary of SA sobriety this past December. I am thankful that there is such a fellowship and that I am able to attend two meetings a week, with a group of wonderful people who I can call my friends.
This past November, many of us celebrated the blessings we enjoy as citizens of the United States. Tradition has it that the early British settlers held a Thanksgiving meal with the natives who had helped them bring forth a bountiful harvest that year.
