“I’m a recovering sexaholic and I’m making a program call.” These words are a bit harder to say from the inside of a jail cell. Nevertheless, even in here I can get current, I can reach out, and I can get out of isolation—just by writing this letter. Even though I’m stuck in a cell 21 to 23 hours each day, I still have the tools to grow in recovery and have a positive sobriety—by doing all I can for the sexaholic who still suffers.
Dear SA Fellowship, As I celebrate three years of sobriety, I want to thank the SA fellowship for being such a large part of my life. The years I spent running around like a fool in your rooms were the best of my life. I greatly miss our regular fellowship, but I am so very grateful to still be connected with you in the way that I am.
I’m bored. That’s a dangerous place for me to be, because one of my stronger lust triggers is boredom. I’m locked in my cell, waiting to be called to an appointment. I walk back and forth—window, door, window, door—with the occasional stop at the cupboard to see if I’ve overlooked some food item. Food can be a medication to relieve my boredom, just as lust can.
As a sexaholic, I have a hard time dealing with life. I look at other people who seem to have it all together and wish somehow that my insides could look the way they look on the outside. Of course, I’m just kidding myself because I know that most people do not always look on the outside as they feel on the inside.
I am a convicted felon and a registered sex offender, and I’m very grateful to have passed through my second anniversary of SA sobriety this past December. I am thankful that there is such a fellowship and that I am able to attend two meetings a week, with a group of wonderful people who I can call my friends.
This past November, many of us celebrated the blessings we enjoy as citizens of the United States. Tradition has it that the early British settlers held a Thanksgiving meal with the natives who had helped them bring forth a bountiful harvest that year.
The SACFC has been active in finding new ways to help carry the message inside prison walls. We recently developed a form letter that CFC representatives can use for contacting their local prison commissioners. We plan to post the letter to make it easily accessible to regional CFCs.
For many of us, our addiction is a disease of isolation and loneliness. Even those of us who have been outwardly successful—with families, careers, and a group of friends—often find that our relationships are really only superficial. Addicts, for the most part, have real trouble connecting on an emotional level with other people.
Feet shuffling, I made my way through the darkened tunnel. I was part of a handcuffed, chained sea of men in orange that was slowly making its way through an underground tunnel toward the courthouse. We shuffled, a few inches at a time, because our ankles were connected by chains.
Following are highlights of some recent CFC activities. The Mid-Atlantic Region (MAR) hosted the CFC at their “Change of Heart” regional conference this past April. MAR is the first SA region to create a regional-level CFC in response to recent events occurring in the Pennsylvania prison system.
