I’ve physically acted out in my sleep. An old-timer who had the same problem suggested that I wear pants under my pajama pants. Acting on this suggestion has helped me avoid touching myself, providing as it does, an extra layer between myself and lust.
La única novedad anual que sucedió en mi familia, aparte de mi cumpleaños, fue la llegada de las vacaciones. Solíamos ir a la playa todos los años y la libertad que el mar y las olas producían en mí, suavizaba la angustia de tener “padres especiales”, que no se amaban y que incluso podían divorciarse.
Can I focus on what I will do to deal with my problems without first admitting I have problems? What does “rigorous honesty” mean, if not to open up to others about my defects? How did I first identify with others in SA and feel that I belonged, other than to hear about the mess others had put themselves through? Why do we read in meetings first about “The Problem” before sharing “The Solution”?
When we come to SA the most important question we can ask ourselves is “What is the point of sobriety?” Maybe we want to strive to “get something back” or to “get something” in the first place — a husband, a wife, a job. Maybe we work to be just “good enough,” mostly sober. Or maybe we just keep coming back to get support for our illness like Roy talks about in Recovery Continues (p67).
When you asked me about how to respond to temptations, I thought I could share a few suggestions and insights with you.
I was born in a religious family who always believed in Allah and His power. Actually I was believing that He can do anything except this one thing, so I had problems. I couldn’t pray and ask Him about this addiction. I was so resentful how my life was totally destroyed. I can’t describe the remorse and self-pity I felt every time I relapsed.
Eight years ago, I decided to take a month’s leave of absence from work to travel to Florida and enjoy the beautiful March weather of the sunshine state, as well as to practice my favorite sport: golf. One important concern I had when I made that decision: how would I be able to maintain my SA routine that has enabled me to keep progressing in my recovery, which includes attending, on a regular basis, SA meetings?
The only annual novelty that happened in my family, apart from my birthday, was the arrival of the holidays. We used to go to the beach every year and the freedom the sea and the waves produced in me softened the anguish of having “special parents,” who did not love each other and who might even divorce.
Isolation has always been a danger for me as a sexaholic. Before coming to SA, I lived my life in a bubble, withdrawn from others, cut off from any type of Higher Power, out of touch with reality, lost in my world of illusions. I was uncomfortable dealing with reality, and preferred the comfort of isolation, in which I could bask in lust and let my ego reign in all its glory.
Recently married for the fourth time, the marriage already unstable due to my disease, I arrived at SA in early 2002. I’ve been sober since July 18, 2008. However, sober isn’t well, and my anger persisted. Finally my wife left me in 2013. At that time, I was a GDA delegate and attending International Conventions. I had an unmarried sponsee who needed dating guidance. What did I know about sober dating?
