A Journey To a New Life
I’ve been sober since January 7, 2023. That day I took a flight to South Africa (SA), so I literally traveled to a new life since then. God has an amazing sense of humor!
Mixed Meetings: From Fear to Real Connection
A year ago, I felt apprehensive when I entered my first Zoom meeting because it was mixed. I had a question: How do I stay sober amongst men? What reassured me from the outset was the way the fellows included their sobriety dates when they introduced themselves. But I had no choice in the matter - I had to overcome my fears and keep coming back in order to learn how to stay sober and deepen my recovery, which I did; I continued to attend daily hybrid meetings on Zoom, plus a weekly women-only meeting.
There Is Value in Co-ed As Well As Women-only SA Meetings
When I entered the room of my first SA meeting in September 2018, I was the only female. I sat down at a table with five men of varying ages and I felt very alone and fearful. What would these men think of me? It wasn’t until the meeting progressed and these men around me started sharing their thoughts and feelings about working their SA program that I began a slow journey towards being able to view men as people rather than as objects.
Filling Your Emotional Cup With Safe People
Below is what I shared with a lady in the fellowship who felt attracted to a man in a mixed meeting:
Warm Weather Challenges
I like that SA is a mixed group. However, sometimes as a woman I feel there are double standards in SA around how to dress in meetings, especially as the weather gets warmer.
Respecting Myself
Mixed face-to-face meetings are a great place for me to learn to respect myself in the presence of men. I have the option to go to a women-only meeting, but I have found (after hiding out in that women’s meeting for a year or two) that the mixed face-to-face meetings are 10 times better for my recovery and healing.
One Big Meeting
As I anticipated attending the 2007 Convention, I felt both excitement and fear. Excitement because the idea of meeting lots of new friends in recovery (including people I do service work with) sounded like great fun! But fear at the prospect of traveling to Maryland to meet these people, especially the men.
Mixed Meetings
I have heard of problems at mixed meetings, and I have had a few of my own making. But the problems have been valuable lessons in my recovery, and I wouldn’t trade those experiences because of the wisdom I’ve gained from them.
God Gives Us Courage
A member asked, “Do you feel connected to people?” She was feeling uncomfortable in mixed meetings, after one year of sobriety.
Letter to a Young SA Woman
My dear friend, I’ve been masturbating since the 6th grade and found SA in 2003 or 2004; I don’t remember exactly when. I went to some meetings and then stopped for several months. I came back in 2005 for good.
