Practical Tools

Check List Sobriety

I had a sponsee who would call me every day with a check in. I laid out a daily program of action like the one that was given to me. Every few days he would call to report he had lost his sobriety. I would say the same thing every time. Did you slide out of bed to your knees for morning prayers? Did you do your daily readings? Did you call 2 other SA members? And so forth. His answers were always the same, a half-measures “no” on most of the suggestions.

By |2025-09-22T06:01:00-05:00February 19, 2020|Comments Off on Check List Sobriety

“Bad News” In Sexaholics Anonymous

Over three sober decades in SA there have been quite a few pieces of “bad news” for us sexaholics. They all arise, like our entire program, from our experience, strength and hope. Each issue of Essay under Practical Tools we’ll share some pieces of “bad news”: • We make a decision to get angry. Then we find something to get angry about. Same with resentment!

By |2025-09-22T06:18:22-05:00December 21, 2019|Comments Off on “Bad News” In Sexaholics Anonymous

Service and Sobriety

Service is a critical part of recovery, but it is one of the most poorly understood Program concepts, in my opinion. I’ve been in the Program for 19 years, and for 17 of those years, my idea of service was flawed. I believed service was about helping addicts only. I did not see it extend outside of these boundaries.

By |2025-09-22T06:18:29-05:00December 21, 2019|Comments Off on Service and Sobriety

What Will You Do Differently This Time?

I have been in and out of SA for 13 years and my newest sobriety date in April 7, 2019. Why? I never put recovery first, until now. In the past 13 years there have been periods of sobriety, living as a dry drunk, and acting out and ignoring the Fellowship and the Program.

By |2025-09-22T06:18:36-05:00December 21, 2019|Comments Off on What Will You Do Differently This Time?

Fixing the White Book

An issue that was nagging at me for the past few years was the state of my White Book. Pages were falling out and it was frayed in places. This was due mostly because it comes with me everywhere. Even though I have another White Book, my frayed copy has been with me to meetings in eight different countries on three continents, and to many countries without SA meetings. It is always in my backpack.

By |2025-09-22T06:18:44-05:00December 21, 2019|Comments Off on Fixing the White Book

“Bad News” In Sexaholics Anonymous

Over three sober decades in SA there have been quite a few pieces of “bad news” for we sexaholics. They all arise, like our entire program, from our experience, strength and hope. Each issue of Essay under Practical Tools we’ll share some pieces of “bad news”: • If I am disturbed, the problem is in me. I’d rather be serene than right.

By |2025-09-22T06:34:01-05:00October 1, 2019|Comments Off on “Bad News” In Sexaholics Anonymous

The Delusion That I Can Fight

When I started in SA, I was still talking about the struggle and fight against lust. That made all the sense in the world to me at that time. I figured if I didn’t struggle against lusting and the desires, obsessions, and compulsions, there’s no way I could ever stop my acting out. I was wrong.

By |2025-09-22T06:34:09-05:00October 1, 2019|Comments Off on The Delusion That I Can Fight

The Surprising Power of Prayer

I had three prayers before I got sober in AA in 2003. They were: 1. “God, give me what I want.” 2. “God, please make this person do what I want.” 3. “God, if you get me out of this one I promise I’ll never do it again.”

By |2025-09-22T06:45:05-05:00August 5, 2019|Comments Off on The Surprising Power of Prayer

Giving God the Credit

A recent issue of the AA magazine Grapevine drew my attention when I read something close to “Coincidence is God’s way of staying amazing.” After seeing that I remembered, “Half measures availed us nothing.... We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.”

By |2025-09-22T06:45:12-05:00August 5, 2019|Comments Off on Giving God the Credit