I want to share a brief concern shared by other SA’s I talk to. It seems that at times — maybe most of the time — the First Steps given during meetings become way too sexually graphic. This morning I spoke to an SA newcomer who is really upset and was not going to return because of the First Step given last week.
Hi. I’m Bill. I’ve been sober for seven years. I’d like to share a new tool that’s helped me in my struggle to become increasingly lust-free.
Not long ago, I did it: I put a Desire chip in my mouth. And no, it didn’t melt.
After the Serenity Prayer, one person reads the following questions and both people answer them:
Our recovery calendar page today says, “Gratitude turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.” I am grateful for the reminder how important gratitude lists have been to my recovery from sexaholism. During the first several months of sobriety I wrote gratitude lists daily. My sponsor told me to put twenty items on it per day.
The Tucson SA Fellowship approved the enclosed statement for local use with newcomers. In fact, we have printed it on the back of our Step 1 Guide, which we give to newcomers along with the SA brochure. We thought you might like to report this development and/or print the entire statement in the ESSAY.
Shortly after I entered Sexaholics Anonymous some fellow sexaholics mentioned making a “daily contract” for sobriety. During the first few weeks of sobriety I hardly needed a contract. I was so scared and miserable that sobriety was my only option. My second marriage was near an end, my acting out would cause me to quickly lose my job and I simply felt hopeless.
Need: Often a sponsee will have a problem that does not readily yield to the sponsor’s efforts or that is outside his or her knowledge or recovery experience or ability to deal with it. In such cases, there can be great wisdom and breakthrough by bringing the issue to a small, select group of trusted members, together, under God.
My name is Bill; I’m a sexaholic, sober for four years and two months. One of the most effective tools in my recovery has been the daily renewal. The renewal is a daily ritual in which two people in the program ask each other six challenging questions. By thoughtfully answering “yes” to each question, one is making a truly active choice to stay sober.
Conference attendees were asked to write some of their thoughts and experiences on the conference theme—Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness—for sharing with the Fellowship at large. The conference organizers and the Essay wish to thank those who shared. Following is a selection from almost 150 submissions.
