A few years before I came to SA, I saw several therapists. I didn't realize it then, but I was looking for a “higher power” that would save me from myself, that would carry me. Being saved and carried was exactly what I tried to find in lust.
When I admitted powerlessness and unmanageability (Step One), I began Twelve-Step recovery. Within one week my spiritual awakening began as I could believe in the experience of others and feel hope. For me this was Step Two. Beginning to learn and live the Steps in my life (with some assistance from professionals) enlarged and deepened my spiritual awakening.
I'm Jesse and I'm a sexaholic. I'm very grateful to SA for its limited membership requirements. I meet ALL the requirements. I have a desire not to lust, and I want to be sober (Tradition 3). I've been sexually sober since June 9, 2013, and for that I'm very grateful.
According to Tradition Three, I simply need to stop all my addictive thoughts and behavior in order to be part of this happy clan! However, as I grow in recovery, I feel it is more and more about emotional sobriety as well as sexual sobriety.
I practice no organized religion, but I may refer to specific religious traditions here because of their being examples related to my journey. In November 1985 I stopped acting out by means of chemical castration. This was because of life-threatening behaviors that were occurring as a part of my acting out. There was no emotional or spiritual treatment combined with it.
A few weeks ago, I heard someone from my faith tradition tell a story that really resonated with me, and that I have thought about every day since. I shared it at a meeting and it appeared to touch others as well. Therefore, I am very happy to share it with you.
I have a recovery buddy who recently adopted a dog. Having been without a dog for several months, he was so excited when he was finally able to bring “Leroy Brown” home with him. That excitement was quickly joined by frustration.
