Steps & Traditions

Fourth Step on Relationships

About a year ago I worked the Twelve Steps with my sponsor. I thought I was doing fine even though my sponsor left town. Then I noticed problems developing in my relationship. My wife noticed it too. She said, “Things were going better when you were working the Steps.” So I decided to do another Fourth Step focused on my relationship. I got a new sponsor to work with me. Here are the defects and fears I identified, followed by the way I have put what I’ve learned from this Step into practice in my life.

By Stan H., Seattle, WA|2025-02-13T14:27:35-06:00June 12, 1998|Comments Off

Working the First Three Steps

The Third Step has been the hardest and most confusing for me. It would have been much easier had I better understood and practiced the first two Steps from the start.

By Al B.|2025-03-07T15:42:33-06:00December 6, 1997|Comments Off

Before Making Amends, Listen to your Sponsor

I have been coming to SA for over two years. I am now 150 days sober. I believe that my history of achieving a few months’ sobriety and then slipping lies with my ego. I seem to lack humility, which causes me to believe too much in my own way of seeing the world, no matter how painful that is, rather than accepting other people’s guidance and support.

By Brent P., U.K.|2025-03-07T15:43:12-06:00September 6, 1997|Comments Off

Self-Supporting through Our Own Contributions?

Our Seventh Tradition — “Every SA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions” — is part of our meeting format. Yet it was discussed at a fellowship meeting at a recent conference that we are not fully self-supporting through our contributions. Only about half of our income comes from group contributions.

By Jesse L.|2025-03-17T11:11:37-05:00December 13, 1996|Comments Off

How an SA Group Dealt With an Invitation to Appear on Television

In the five-plus years that SA has existed in Toronto, we have received numerous requests to be involved in radio or television programs. With careful attention to the SA position papers on media publicity, we have always declined. In January 1996, our group agreed to take part in a TV program. This decision, however, gave rise to many questions and concerns within the fellowship, which led to a review of the decision in a group conscience meeting. We would like to share with you what happened and how we resolved it.

By Brian H., SA Intergroup, Toronto|2025-03-20T10:29:23-05:00June 13, 1996|Comments Off

Are the Twelve Steps Meaningful Only to Individuals, or Do These Principles Also Apply to Our Fellowship?

Question: “How can SA as a fellowship work the Steps; I thought only individuals could do that?” Response: “The idea does sound kind of new and strange, doesn’t it? But let’s see what it might look like.”

By Roy K.|2025-03-25T12:31:28-05:00June 21, 1995|Comments Off

12 Steps as Principles of Recovery from where I am Today

Dying: Admit I am powerless over lust; that my sex, sexuality, orientation and relational misconnection are unmanageable.

By R.K.|2025-03-26T10:11:01-05:00May 21, 1995|Comments Off

Turning it Over

I became willing to turn my life over to the care of God. My first time was when I first entered the program. Then I finally admitted that it was not up to me to define the bottom line. To really turn over to my sponsor—regular contact, honest sharing of my lust and resentment and regular work on the Steps is my next step.

By D.F.|2025-04-02T12:41:59-05:00June 25, 1994|Comments Off

The Group Conscience

There are two ways for a group to arrive at a group conscience. One is the competitive way, the other is the cooperative way. In the competitive, you push your ideas across, take a vote, and the majority carry the decision. This leaves behind a disgruntled minority that feel that its truths are lost sight of in the decision.

By Anonymous|2025-04-03T11:02:25-05:00September 28, 1993|Comments Off

Ego

Ego has been said to mean Edging God Out. How desperately I want to sign this piece so that I’ll be admired and praised — so that I’ll feel less small and gray. But this means I am mistakenly allowing, indeed inviting, others to validate me — thinking that they can fill me up and make me whole.

By Anonymous|2025-04-03T11:02:17-05:00September 28, 1993|Comments Off

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