The December 1999 issue of Essay contained the first part of Roy K.’s talk in Cranford, NJ on November 6th titled “A New Look at Lust Recovery—Part One: Stages of Lust Recovery.” This is Part Two, revised to reflect what we’re learning from continuing experience with participants in the surrender.
In 1935-1938, in the midst of a ragtag roundup of woebegotten rummies, something was happening which would turn into the greatest event of the twentieth century. This was the joyous discovery that God was doing for hopeless drunks what they had never been able to do for themselves. Before there was any AA literature, before there were any Steps, Akron Ohio 1935-1938 was where hope for lust-aholics was born.
Thank you very much. It is beautiful to be with you. I have looked for this opportunity for some time and now it is here.
Most of us in Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) were driven to total despair by our destructive sexual behavior. We found as soon as we came here that our lust was the problem. It was hard to believe. How could it be the problem? And, how could we live without its comfort? It didn’t make sense. But we had no choice.
The New Jersey Marathon on November 6th in Cranford was a special occasion in SA history. The subject of victory over lust took the spotlight as the speaker challenged the eager gathering of SAs by describing the stages of his own progressive victory over lust. He offered joyous hope to any still wondering if it is actually possible to honestly “stop drinking” or who are unhappy with their own stage of lust recovery. The talk was in two parts: first sharing the stages of his own lust recovery, and then offering a new approach as breakthrough experiment. The talk was privately taped and transcribed for the Essay. Part One, Stages of Lust Recovery, appears below. Part Two, The 1935 Akron Experience as a Program for Lust Recovery, will appear in the next issue of Essay. The speaker was Roy K., who was asked to condense and edit his talk for publication.
Dear Roy, I read with great interest your recent article “The Luster’s Fear of Dying” in the [Spring 1999] issue of the Essay. Personally I have witnessed this extreme fear of dying while undergoing the detox process of God’s powerful grace acting deeply in my being and restoring sanity. The entire body is visited as well as the soul during this spiritual experience leading to new freedom and joy. I am really indebted to SA for the experience.
What do frogs, Bill and Lois W., and kisses have in common? For me, a sex addict, each can trigger my obsession to act out sexually.
Recently a former sponsee came to me in a personal crisis. He was in a financial jam that I saw was clearly the consequences of his disease. I “let him have it”—for his own good of course, and with the best of intentions.
For the typical lust addict, our whole system screams out that we’re going to die if we don’t take that “drink.” It’s too fearful not to drink. Lust is our spiritual life-support system. Yes, the fear is that real. So, we wind up drinking. We’re hooked on it and remain a slave. It’s the fear of this kind of death that keeps us in bondage and forces us to keep slipping with lust.
(Editor’s note: Following the call for lust inventories at the recent Daytona Beach Conference, the International Central Office reports that several SA groups have called and expressed a desire to follow through on taking lust inventories, and requested guidelines on how to do it. The following guidelines, written by Roy K., are submitted by the North Hollywood SA group)
