For over twenty years I lived in the merciless downward spiral of Lust. As my disease progressed, the unmanageability increased, the consequences were greater, and I was powerless to save myself. By the Grace of God, over 9 years ago I walked into a meeting of SA and was given the gift of freedom. Yet, that gift of freedom did not happen overnight nor by accident. It took many years of good Step work and quality sponsorship to get to a comfortable and clean sobriety.

The so-called 18-Wheeler (“Overcoming Lust and Temptation,” SA 157) has been a series of trust building exercises for me. My sponsor suggested I read one wheel a day, reflect on it, and share my thoughts and experience as I go along.

اولین صحنه‌ای که از کودکی به خاطر می‌آورم این است که در آغوش مادرم خوابیده بودم و از صدای انفجار بمب‌های جنگ و لرزیدن شیشه‌ها و ترس بیدار شدم و بعد از چند لحظه باز به خواب رفتم، خاطره زیبایی نبود و خاطرات تلخ من همچنان ادامه پیدا کردند

Were We Tightwads In 2016?
Well here are the facts: SAICO received $14.53 per SA member in 2016. The central office of another “S” fellowship received $27.20 from each of its members in the same period…. ‘nuff said?

Dear Essay,
Hello! I want to report from the Together And Never Alone Again Convention May 5-7, 2017. I can hardly digest the miracles and blessings that filled our weekend. Only that I cannot be thankful enough to Essay and to the entire fellowship for holding us in your hearts as well as in your prayers last weekend. We felt your support, really.

Dear Essay readers:
In the fall of 2016 an SA member in Helsinki asked, “Why do we need to pay for the electronic copy of Essay?” The answer to his question begins with this issue of Essay: the electronic version of Essay is now available on the sa.org/essay website! This also fulfills the oft repeated desire of Roy K., our founder, to have Essay be available for free to any sexaholic who desires to read it.

Heard from a chronic slipper at a meeting: “I always prided myself on how humble I was.”

I helped lead some sessions at a retreat with the Toronto, Canada group in May. It was a great time in a retreat center about 100 miles north of Toronto. Saw some old friends and made lots of new ones.

Representatives of SA in Singapore and South Korea joined a meeting of the Australia and New Zealand Service Board (ANZSB) for a teleconference last Saturday, April 1st. ANZSB has asked SA’s Regional Alignment Committee (RAC) about the requirements for becoming a new SA Region.

Our group is planning a “Woodstock of SA” event to happen in Australia. The plan is to have international guest speakers present to talk on each Step of the 12 Steps.

When I was working Step Four with my sponsor, he suggested that I pick one person, institution, or principle at a time and write up an inventory to share with him specifically about that one person. It was a lot of hard but very good work that resulted in a significant change in how I see myself in relation to others and God.

Ever since I was a very young boy, I was sexually abused by all of the other boys in my large extended family. One of the earliest memories of my childhood was during the wartime era in my country. I remember waking up in my mother’s arms because of the sound of heavy explosions, which broke all our windows.

Just over a year ago on May 9, 2016, a Norwalk, California home group member Kent M. died. We remember Kent in light of our experience of his witness to recovery.

By the grace of God, the fourteenth anniversary of SA in Iran was celebrated in Yazd on 27 April 2017. Five hundred men and women gathered together in a beautiful venue and opened the event with the Serenity Prayer. Our chairman welcomed everyone and explained the plan for the day. Mohsen K. from Ahwaz then gave a talk on the history of SA in Iran.

The SA sobriety definition holds the modern mold of woman up to the fire to evoke a discussion on femininity and reshape an authentic design. The 12 Steps of SA are a catalyst for positive change, leading women to discover beauty apart from vanity, influence apart from manipulation, style apart from materialism, sweetness apart from passivity, and womanhood without degradation.

What does it mean to be free of lust?
Esty: For me to be free of lust means many things: being present, living life on life’s terms, not objectifying myself or those around me, seeing the humanity in people, being other-centered and unselfish, feeling compassion for others, accomplishing things, not wasting time, and being sensitive to other’s needs.

There’s a subtle difference between gladness and gratitude that I’ve been pondering for a while. I write a gratitude list at the end of each day, but a lot of times I’m just writing down things that were ‘good’ that happened in a day. Things like “I’m glad there were no cars in the apartment parking lot right next to me so I could more easily back out” or “I’m glad the weather was nice today so I could take a walk at lunchtime” or “I’m glad that my good friend called me to talk.”

The sexaholic on the telephone was palpably discouraged. “My lust does not seem to be getting better,” he said. “I still want to type sexual search terms into my computer. I find myself fantasizing about contacting women I’ve seen. Why doesn’t my lusting get better?”

One night not too long ago my wife said to me “Why don’t you bring home some wine and chocolate after work, and we could have sex.” She said that to me having just asked if I was interested in having sex at that moment, but I said I was tired. In this situation I think the two of us not having had sex for over a year had something to do with my response.

Earlier today I was talking with my wife about some older friends who attend a religious service every day of the week. As we discussed their devotion, she said that the way in which I work my SA program is pretty much like that, too. I agreed with her.