Start the New Year in fellowship by joining us for a weekend of recovery, fun, and inspiration at our winter convention at the Ramada Hotel in Birmingham, UK. I have found that the farther I travel to a convention, the more my recovery seems to benefit.

I happened to notice while reading Beginnings: Notes on the Origin and Early Growth of SA that the “first issue of the SA newsletter with the ESSAY masthead” was printed November 15, 1981 (14). That means ESSAY is 30 years old this year!

In July 2011, our 6:30 group (under the Nashville Intergroup) decided to have monthly speaker meetings. One of the first talks was on Step Four. The speaker focused on the Big Book pages on how to work Step Four (AA 64-71), and as he went along, he shared his personal experience related to working each phase of the Step.

I like to look up definitions of key words used in the Twelve Steps. I use a 1934 Webster’s Dictionary that was current when the Big Book was written. Key words and their definitions have become the subject of my artwork.

Recently, a friend shared with me the terror, frustration, bewilderment, and despair he was feeling as a consequence of our disease. I told him that these emotions are the natural consequence of the old way of living; that they are what we reap when we sow the seeds of lust.

I found SA and started my recovery journey just over three years ago. Going into recovery, I expected to learn just what I needed to do in order to not act out. I soon discovered, however, that the program provides me with tools to better face life and life’s challenges—to be able to actually grow stronger through them, not just get through them.

It seems like only yesterday that my old friend and sponsor Jess L., shared with me a wonderful story. He said that there once was a world-renowned football team that had successful seasons year after year. One year, however, things were not going well for the team.

For many of us, our addiction is a disease of isolation and loneliness. Even those of us who have been outwardly successful—with families, careers, and a group of friends—often find that our relationships are really only superficial. Addicts, for the most part, have real trouble connecting on an emotional level with other people.

Feet shuffling, I made my way through the darkened tunnel. I was part of a handcuffed, chained sea of men in orange that was slowly making its way through an underground tunnel toward the courthouse. We shuffled, a few inches at a time, because our ankles were connected by chains.

Hi all,
A personal highlight from this year’s GDA was sharing how our Higher Power has once again ensured the financial health of our fellowship. In quiet that morning, I’d read “We have ceased fighting anything or anyone. . . . We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected” (AA 84-85).

Dear Fellow SA Members:
The General Delegate Assembly met on Thursday and Friday, July 14-15 prior to the July convention in Portland. Attendees included 13 Delegates, seven Alternates, five Trustees, two Trustee nominees, one representative from SAICO, and several observers.

We in New York are honored to host the upcoming SA/S-Anon International Convention, to be held just over the river in Newark. We chose the conference theme, “Liberty From Self,” because we believe that “self” is our greatest obstacle to recovery.

Lately I’ve been meditating on the reading, “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path” (AA 58, “How it Works”). I’ve found myself wondering, Why “rarely”? Why not “never”?

The behaviors that brought me into SA were very selfish and self-centered. Even though I’d stacked up a pile of nice-guy actions to justify my abhorrent behaviors, my life was basically all about me and my pleasure. The one person I thought of and whose opinion, satisfaction, and happiness mattered most was me.

Progress toward a healthier, more intimate sexual relationship with my wife of more than 31 years is one of the gifts I’ve experienced through SA. Even the fact that I’m still married is a miracle.

I practiced obsessive fantasy for years. In my obsession, I often chased men who were not available to me. I had the problem described in the White Book, “We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden” (203). I pursued my lust objects obsessively.

I never fell into a rabbit hole, but I fell hard into the Internet. There, I found a strange world where forbidden things were freely available—even celebrated. At first, I enjoyed this secret place where there was no right or wrong.

The SA message first reached Ireland in 1993 when, for a brief period, there was a lone group in Dublin, our capital. Those meetings were short-lived but the seed had been sown. Meetings started up again in 1995.

Recently I was preparing to go away on a wonderful trip to Italy: first a week by the sea on my own, and then a week in the Roman hills with friends to attend an art workshop. This was to be a dream holiday, but I was feeling overwhelmed with fear: fear of my own intentions, fear of acting out, and mostly fear of having to feel my emotions with no other people to buffer them or fill the void.

My sexual history involves a long list of adulterous affairs, pornography, strip clubs, videos, and acting out—but those things were never really my problems; they were the results of my not facing my problems. My problems included loneliness, fear, insecurity, frustration at my inability to get my own way and my inability to deal with the hurts in my life, and all of the rejections (real or imagined) that I suffered.