Hi all,
A personal highlight from this year’s GDA was sharing how our Higher Power has once again ensured the financial health of our fellowship. In quiet that morning, I’d read “We have ceased fighting anything or anyone. . . . We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected” (AA 84-85).

Dear Fellow SA Members:
The General Delegate Assembly met on Thursday and Friday, July 14-15 prior to the July convention in Portland. Attendees included 13 Delegates, seven Alternates, five Trustees, two Trustee nominees, one representative from SAICO, and several observers.

We in New York are honored to host the upcoming SA/S-Anon International Convention, to be held just over the river in Newark. We chose the conference theme, “Liberty From Self,” because we believe that “self” is our greatest obstacle to recovery.

Lately I’ve been meditating on the reading, “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path” (AA 58, “How it Works”). I’ve found myself wondering, Why “rarely”? Why not “never”?

The behaviors that brought me into SA were very selfish and self-centered. Even though I’d stacked up a pile of nice-guy actions to justify my abhorrent behaviors, my life was basically all about me and my pleasure. The one person I thought of and whose opinion, satisfaction, and happiness mattered most was me.

Progress toward a healthier, more intimate sexual relationship with my wife of more than 31 years is one of the gifts I’ve experienced through SA. Even the fact that I’m still married is a miracle.

I practiced obsessive fantasy for years. In my obsession, I often chased men who were not available to me. I had the problem described in the White Book, “We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden” (203). I pursued my lust objects obsessively.

I never fell into a rabbit hole, but I fell hard into the Internet. There, I found a strange world where forbidden things were freely available—even celebrated. At first, I enjoyed this secret place where there was no right or wrong.

The SA message first reached Ireland in 1993 when, for a brief period, there was a lone group in Dublin, our capital. Those meetings were short-lived but the seed had been sown. Meetings started up again in 1995.

Recently I was preparing to go away on a wonderful trip to Italy: first a week by the sea on my own, and then a week in the Roman hills with friends to attend an art workshop. This was to be a dream holiday, but I was feeling overwhelmed with fear: fear of my own intentions, fear of acting out, and mostly fear of having to feel my emotions with no other people to buffer them or fill the void.

My sexual history involves a long list of adulterous affairs, pornography, strip clubs, videos, and acting out—but those things were never really my problems; they were the results of my not facing my problems. My problems included loneliness, fear, insecurity, frustration at my inability to get my own way and my inability to deal with the hurts in my life, and all of the rejections (real or imagined) that I suffered.

When I was around ten years old, I was introduced to pornography by my next-door neighbor. We were the same age, and he would bring magazines over to my house. I will never forget the first time I saw pornography; I was immediately hooked.

SA n’est pas une fraternité seulement pour les célibataires! Même si je connais plusieurs membres mariés (de même que des célibataires) qui vivent seuls, notre définition de la sobriété permet d’avoir des relations sexuelles à l’intérieur du mariage. De fait, plusieurs membres mariés de notre fraternité ont des relations sexuelles à l’intérieur de leur mariage et demeurent sobres!

Following are highlights of some recent CFC activities.
The Mid-Atlantic Region (MAR) hosted the CFC at their “Change of Heart” regional conference this past April. MAR is the first SA region to create a regional-level CFC in response to recent events occurring in the Pennsylvania prison system.

Dear Fellow SA Members:
I’m looking forward to the “Recovery on the River” Convention in July in Portland. My prayer is that many of you are too! What a wonderful spiritual experience it will be! We might even experience miracles in our lives while attending.

I am an SA woman who has been sober for four years. If you had met me five years ago, you would have found a confused, greedy, and very sick person. Today, thanks to my Higher Power, sponsor, and my SA groups, I am able to see my life and world in a sane way.

To the women I objectified and used,
How can I make an amends to you? I don’t know you. I can’t track you down; it would be wrong for me to even try. So I am writing this letter, and I will put the rest into God’s hands.

My addiction caused me to lose my business, my reputation, and my home. While addiction devastated me, it was inevitable that my family would suffer. Toward the bitter end, everything had gone so far down that I doubted I could ever make things right again.

SA is not a fellowship of only celibate people! Even though I know many married members (as well as single members) who are celibate, our sobriety definition allows sex within marriage. In fact, many married members of our fellowship actually have sex in marriage and stay sober!

About two years ago, not long after finishing the Steps with my sponsor and having the spiritual awakening promised in Step Twelve, I decided I could manage my own life. I became complacent, making fewer phone calls, going to fewer meetings, becoming less active as a sponsor, and reaching out less to my own sponsor.