Dear Porn,
I gotta say that this is the weirdest thing for me to be doing right now, but I wanna thank you for lotsa stuff. Y’know, we haven’t been in contact now for like 126 days (but who’s counting), and I’m not gonna lie—I DO miss you. A whole lot. See? I even count the days! That’s how important you are were in my life!! And although I don’t want you in my life anymore, there was a time that you were crucial to my survival. We’ve been through a lot together and, although it’s time to say goodbye, I really must say thank you first.

I was born in Nicaragua. My parents divorced when I was a baby. I was raised by my maternal grandparents in the countryside until about 8 years old. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, I was sexually abused by two adult men who were neighbors.

For me, sexual lust started as a simple game that I played with the kid next door. I never imagined that such a game could develop into a “way of life.” My family paid more attention to my beautiful, smart sister, and to attract their attention, I started stealing from them to get more attention. This didn’t work. I didn’t know how to say, “I’m here! See me! Love me! I need my father to hold me!”

I reached out to an SA member in June 2017 in response to his email sent two months before, and I knew I had a problem with my compulsive behavior. On a daily basis, I was satisfying my “needs” like an automaton programmed to perform repetitive searches. I kept trying to fill the terrible emptiness that my secret life hid for ages.

The chapter in the White Book titled “Lust—The Force Behind the Addiction,” is, in my view, a magnificent introduction to the underpinnings of what lust is really all about. In that chapter Roy defines lust as “an attitude demanding that a natural instinct serve unnatural desires” (SA 40). That was certainly my experience.

One of our friends-in-prison, Raphael S., who has had two articles over the last couple of years in ESSAY, started an SA meeting in Virginia State Prison. He is sponsoring another fellow. It’s meaningful for them to be part of the fellowship although they are incarcerated.

I have been following a journey all my adult life toward what now, as a sober SA member, I think of as Step 1—and I am now almost 60. I am moved to write this article by The Real Connection reading for today, which at the time of writing is April 7. It describes a method of meditation which the writer felt could be useful to other members, that is, in silence paying attention to my breathing, and focusing on my breath as it goes in and out of my nose and mouth, letting go of my thoughts as they arise.

I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.

What is Lust?

NEXT EDITION—The August issue will try to deepen our understanding of the concept of lust, which is the indispensable key to sobriety and lasting recovery.

Dear ESSAY, we’d love to share the story of our Loving Chair with you all.
Jaime Daniel is one of the founders of our group. 12 years ago, he celebrated his 24th anniversary of sobriety in another fellowship where he received a small plastic chair as a gift. He donated that chair to our “La Liberación” group.

اوایل ورودم به SA، زمانی که راجع به جلسات مختلط مطلع شدم، فکر کردم اگر در جلسه ای باشم که اعضای آن، ذهنی مثل ذهن من داشته باشند،آنجا مثل یک پارتی خواهد شد

سلام، من کارین هستم، یک معتادجنسی خانم، و در ۲۷ ژوئن ۲۰۳۳ به SA پیوستم. تاریخ هوشیاری من یکم سپتامبر ۲۰۲۳ است. من یک گروه حضوری خانگی SA دارم، در جلسات زوم SA شرکت میکنم، دوازده قدم را با یک راهنمای SA کار میکنم و کارهای خدماتی کمیته اصلاح و تربیت SA را انجام می دهم .همچنین، من متعهد به “نه” قرار ملاقات یا وارد شدن به یک رابطه برای حداقل یک سال هستم. من قبل از SA،دلم میخواست بمیرم

من از سال ۲۰۱۰ در این برنامه بوده‌ام. برنامه به من این امکان را داد که ۱۳ سال پاک بمانم و از اینکه از من خواسته شد مقاله‌ای درباره مردان و زنان در جامعه بنویسم، بسیار سپاسگزارم

گفته می‌شود: بهبودی آرامش و صلح در میان طوفان است.
پریسیلیا طوفان‌های زیادی را پشت سرگذاشته است. امروز بعد از بیش از ۳۰ سال پاکی جنسی، او ابزارهایی دارد تا در میان طوفان دلسرد نشود و ادامه بدهد. پریسیلیا سی از نشویل تِنسی از ۷ فوریه ۱۹۹۳ پاک بوده است. او از طریق روان درمانگرش به معتادان جنسی گمنام فرستاده شد. فُرمهای شهوت‌رانی من اساساً با مردان متاهل و یا مردانی بود که از لحاظ عاطفی غیرقابل دسترسی بودند

من از ۷ ژانویه ۲۰۲۳ تاکنون پاک هستم. آن روز یک پرواز به آفریقای جنوبی (South Africa) که در زبان انگلیسی به اختصار SA خوانده می‌شود، داشتم و از آن زمان، عینا‍، سفری به یک زندگی جدید داشتم. خداوند فوق العاده شوخ طبع است

یک سال پیش وقتی وارد اولین جلسه دراپلیکیشن زوم شدم احساس نگرانی کردم، چون مختلط بود. من یک سوال داشتم، چطور در میان مردان هوشیار بمانم؟ آنچه در ابتدا به من قوت قلب دوباره می داد روشی بود که در آن اعضا به همراه تاریخ هوشیاری شان خود را معرفی می کردند. اما من در این موضوع گزینه دیگری برای انتخاب نداشتم، من باید بر ترسهایم غلبه کرده، و برای آموختن اینکه چطور هوشیار بمانم و بهبودی عمیق تری داشته باشم به جلسه باز می گشتم؛‌ و من انجامش دادم. من به شرکت در جلسات مختلط روزانه در زوم بعلاوه شرکت در یک جلسه هفتگی مختص بانوان ادامه دادم

We have seen many miracles. As a worldwide fellowship, SA carries some heavy responsibility. The Support for Institutions and Professionals Committee (SIP) is organized to address one of these responsibilities head on: sharing our message with various helping professionals and larger institutions. We, who have personally benefited from the miracles of the 12 Steps can now take part in informing those who help people every day.

Some years ago, we started an online Persian SA meeting, which was the first online SA meeting as well as the first mixed meeting in our fellowship in Iran. In the beginning, there were some technical and online cultural issues but overall no major problems.

When Zoom meetings started I was blessed to attend one or more meetings per day including for the first time a women’s only meeting. I didn’t have much experience attending meetings with other SA sisters. It was beautiful.

As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a scientist. But life took a sharp turn when instead I became a lust addict. Accepting my struggle wasn’t easy. What I thought was innocent indulgence in pornography and fantasy spun out of control, and I came to feel completely powerless. I stumbled across SA on the Internet, but I was still under age, and I had to wait until I turned 18 to join the Program. And living in India, where we didn’t yet have face-to-face meetings, meant I had to rely solely on online support.