My name is Michael D. and I am a sex addict. I have been sexually sober for over 5 months now, praise God. I have just been released from the California Men’s Colony State Prison, where I served a three-year term for sexual battery.

In clearing away the wreckage of the past in my 15-year marriage, I am successfully using the following format when making amends:

Our last and only previous issue of Member Stories came out in 1989, over six years ago. In the intervening years, our fledgling fellowship has grown in numbers, sobriety, and recovery. Our sobriety definition has been challenged and resoundingly reaffirmed. While some of the members from that time are no longer seen in the rooms of SA, shaky newcomers they sponsored now step forward confidently to take their place. For some of us, the incredible journey is just beginning.

My name is Patrick, and I’m a sexaholic. I’ve been sexually sober for 28 days, nine months and two years, by the grace of God. And I never thought I’d ever be able to be sexually sober in my life. I was totally powerless over sex, over lust. My life was incredibly out of control, and today I can smile; today I’m happy. I never thought that day would come. I waited a long time for it [Laughter], a long, long time, and I paid a price for this fellowship, which was the highest price that I could ever be expected to pay.

Dear SA Intergroups:
This is an announcement of SA’s First Annual Oversight Assembly to be held January 12, 1996 at 2:00 PM, at the Freedom Conference in Phoenix. The location of the meeting will be in your conference program.

I like a newsletter that talks to me, and find it encouraging. Also like the fact that feedback is welcome—found it helpful.

Through the grace of God and the fellowship and Steps of Sexaholics Anonymous, I have experienced countless victories over lust. Also, I have not found it necessary to act out upon my sexual addiction since July 16, 1991. For this, I will probably never be truly grateful enough.

This Fall has been exciting for our group here in Calgary. Recently, we celebrated the group’s one year anniversary with a large turnout. We added another meeting out of a need, bringing the weekly total to three, which are going strong.

The enclosed check is a group donation from the Quad Cities Sexaholics Anonymous. We are happy to report that although we remain small in numbers, we now have four meetings a week. Just as the Nashville 1990 “Courage To Change” conference was the impetus for our original meeting, the 1995 Baltimore conference inspired us to start two additional meetings.

Dear SA,
Just to let you know that our SA group here in the far tropical north of Australia is thriving. We have four to five solid members with recovery of up to six weeks according to the SA definition. Previously affiliated with another sexual recovery fellowship, one of our members travelled to the USA and discovered SA.

(The following is an extract from a talk given by Roy K. at the Unity Conference in Orange, CA, on October 8, 1995.)
Thank you for bringing us together. I surrender my ego, my fear, all of my defects. I surrender my preparation for this talk and we ask together for Your Presence above all else, that you will dwell in our hearts, be with us as we share together, the exalted, that we may be your servants, helping those who are lost in the tyranny of lust.

We want to get the word out that most SA literature is now available in Spanish (see Order Form at back). The translations have been made over the years through the outstanding contributions of several, but in particular, one, of our members. Most of the Spanish-speaking world does not know all this literature is available, so help open the door by spreading the word.

The service structure has evolved over the past several years, and has been designed to reflect SA’s unique purpose and requirements.

I wanted to extend to the fellowship my heartfelt appreciation for all the love and support you have shown me upon the death of my husband. The concern you have expressed has only confirmed what I have begun to believe as I work in the Central Office… being part of SA is a wonderful place to be and a rewarding experience.

I used to think that the feelings of emptiness and loneliness I so often experienced in early sobriety were key amongst the triggers so inexorably leading me back to my drug — whether in sex with myself or to yet more of the same old relationships. Nowadays I am coming to see those feelings for what they really are, a sure sign that I have already acted out. Those feelings are not the cause of my acting out, but the result of it.

As I experience recovery, I’m finding that all the work I wanted countless others to do, I have to do myself. “The program is simple … keep the focus on myself … it works if I work it.” How many times have I heard those things! And it’s true! Over and over [I see that] simple works, and when I don’t keep it simple, I isolate and stay in my head and go nuts with resentments and anger, blocking what God is trying to tell me.

I am a 47-year-old sexaholic, lustaholic, alcoholic inmate, serving a sentence of 18-80 years, for a variety of crimes. The majority of my life has been spent behind the walls of one institution after another. This is the only “home” I know. There was a sex crime involved in each one of my adult convictions (but I began acting out at the age of 13).

I went to meetings and tried to live in the Program. I got closer to God, talked “about” the Steps, called people up—and some things changed in my life—but I was still in control. Only after I came back from a four-month residential treatment program, when my current relationship fell apart, when I didn’t have a job anymore—when I was just confronted with myself and without my drug—only then could I finally surrender to the fact that I couldn’t manage my own life.

It has been such a long time since I last sent a letter to our SA Central Office. I thank God today for the willingness and the courage to write.

In a ski-lodge on the side of a snow capped Mt. Kosciusko, Australia’s highest mountain, the first Australian SA Conference was held over the last weekend of April. … Members attended from Melbourne, Sydney, Canberra, and Northern New South Wales. Greetings to the conference were received on tape from a loner in Brisbane and by letter from a member in prison.