Le 21 mars 2011, 48 heures seulement avant mon entrée dans cette fraternité, j’étais sobre depuis deux semaines. Ce jour-là, j’avais la certitude absolue que je ne céderais plus jamais à ma dépendance. Le seul problème, c’est que j’avais eu cette confiance suprême des milliers de fois auparavant, pendant près d’un demi-siècle.

Clarity … clarity is something that I need and wish to have and never lose.
Clarity is something that I get when I pause, listen and think.
Clarity is a God-given present when I take care of myself and others.
Clarity is what I get when I don’t let life challenges take over my brain.
Clarity is what happens when I try to become a channel of Thy peace.
Clarity is when my brain is clear and I can think in a healthy fashion.

I was sitting in the sun, trying to recuperate from an upper respiratory infection. The sun was shining so brightly as I was comfortably sitting in a lounge chair by the pool at the retirement center where we live. All of a sudden it turned dark. I looked up at the sky.

My story regarding accepting the SA sobriety definition begins when I was first dabbling in
accountability and monitoring from others—but not yet in SA. My main goal was to stop masturbating, but I wasn’t yet ready to give up sex outside of marriage and certainly didn’t have a desire to stop lusting.

Four years before I came to SA, I sought help with a professional therapist. I was out of control and knew it, acting out in ways that put me in immediate danger of death. There was a titillating news story of a man who accidentally hung himself in a sexual escapade.

When I was still in the addiction and looking for a way to stop, I came across SA. I had approached SA before, a year earlier, but had done so only half-willingly, and at that time I never made it to a meeting. Needless to say, things got worse.

“Slowly but surely, some wisdom and humility began to creep in. I became more teachable.
I found God working all around me where previously I was sure I had been alone. When I opened my eyes enough to see the miracle, it was right in front of my face. I was growing in God’s love” (AA 430).

Aussies and Kiwis are very committed to recovery. Over a decade ago, in a place called Mount Tambourine in Queensland, an English fellow ran a 12-Step workshop where a dream was born. The English man, an Irish man, and a bunch of Aussies and Kiwis got together with the vision of forming a region.

Can you help? SA’s Board of Trustees is served by a number of committees who assist it in administering the policies and decisions of the General Delegate Assembly. One of these is the Legal Committee whose mission is “to advise the Trustees on legal matters affecting the Fellowship.” (SA Service Manual, Ch. 13, p.2)

What a wonderful fellowship we have! Whenever someone reaches out, SA is there. Through a dedication to service by members like you, we have an effective international organization to keep us available to the next newcomer—and to all of you.

In this month’s issue, members share the miracles of their recovery, enjoying freedom from the toxic power of lust by the humble working of this program. A Ukrainian lady shares how sobriety helped her to overcome crippling defects of character.

One of my most important recovery guidelines is from Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 132: “We absolutely insist on enjoying life.” Roy’s version of this is his notion that if we don’t find in recovery what we were looking for in lust, recovery wouldn’t work (SA, p. 164). Joy that comes from self-acceptance and group-acceptance is one thing my lust was looking for.

Are you experiencing freedom from the slavery of “having to have sex”? Have you found progressive victory over lust and an ongoing spiritual recovery? Have you become rigorously honest?

My name is Raphael. I’m a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I’ve been sober by the grace of G-d and the help of all of you in this program of SA since April 7th, 2019.

In the June issue, read about the tools and tricks fellows from around the world practice while traveling during the holidays.

I came to SA in 2008. Up until that point, my life had been a succession of compulsive masturbation, pornography, voyeurism, exhibitionism, and countless stealthy contacts or one-night-stands with other men. The only experience of connection was a 20+ year abusive relationship with an alcoholic man.

Hi everyone, my name is Pat and I am a sexaholic. I am very grateful today for my ongoing recovery from lust. It’s been a long haul. I came into the program in a town in the mid-north island of New Zealand in November of 2016 after becoming increasingly aware that I was losing control and lust was taking over my life. During an all-night binge on a Saturday with alcohol fuelling my lust, I got online and was chatting to women. I wanted to act out so badly but was so drunk I couldn’t figure out how to get to meet someone. A blessing in disguise.

On March 21, 2011, just 48 hours before I came into this fellowship, I was sober two weeks. On that particular day I was feeling supremely confident that I would never give in to my addiction again. Only problem was, I had had that supreme confidence a thousand times before over almost half a century.

At first I thought that the term, “sobriety,” didn’t fit with what I thought a sexaholic was because I had no experience with alcoholism. But when I came into these rooms eight years ago I learned that sobriety was difficult to obtain because it was about my state of mind and what I might do with it if I didn’t get spiritually fit.

I did not quit, I surrendered. I began my journey in this program when a friend from Al-Anon told me I was a sexaholic. To prove her wrong, I agreed to go to six SA meetings. During those six meetings I slowly came to admit that I was a sexaholic. At the beginning I made no eye contact with other members and I did not share. There were six other SA women at my first home group meeting. We went to two meetings a week as a group, which helped me to connect with the program and then I started to share.