A few years into my recovery I found myself periodically delving into some very negative emotions. These incidences were sometimes triggered by things like dealing with difficult people, having to make difficult decisions when there seemed to be no good options, and trying to cope with marital difficulties.
After my last act out, I have come to wonder if I am addicted to emotional pain. For an addict pain, along with most human instincts and feelings, can be skewed by a strange mental twist. Is pain that place of comfort or familiarity that I am inexplicably drawn to?
One night, at our home group meeting we discussed the SA group’s Primary Purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers (Tradition 5). Someone commented how helpful it would be to have a visual explanation of the Steps to share with newcomers. Below is what we created, and it has helped many newcomers ever since.
This summer I attended the SA International convention in Denver. While there I went to a baseball game. While there I talked with a man sitting beside me. After some baseball talk we got to what convention brought us to Denver.
I suffer from a sort of hypervigilance. Something in me wants to identify and define every object, every person, every angle and surface in my physical environment. My ears are open; my eyes are taking in the very texture of things around me.
What have been seasonal sobriety or Fellowship challenges for you or your groups?
This is a letter of concern. As I travel internationally to SA groups and have international sponsees, I am becoming more and more aware that we are an international organization. As Bill S. said recently, “We will soon have more members outside of North American than inside.” Since this is true, we must become more intentional in our efforts to include participation at all levels of all members.
Dear Essay readers: When we arrive at our first SA meeting, the motivation is almost always a mix of fear and of pain. That’s what it takes to get our attention, it seems. When we sit in an SA meeting and identify with the shares of one another, the realization dawns that we can find freedom from the pain and the fears.
This year, from small beginnings, SA in Ireland is celebrating 20 years of Irish Conventions since its first convention in October 1996. This follows the sobriety of our longest serving member, Robert L. We now have three all-Ireland conventions per year, in spring (Esker), summer (Dublin) and in fall (Ballyvaloo).
My name is Tom M. I have been in recovery and sober since December 2007. Recently I had a phase when many things bothered me. I was mad at people at work, my wife’s requests didn’t make sense to me, things at church annoyed me, and the list went on and on.
