The Twelve and Twelve says that “... only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength” (21). This is the story of how I came to be utterly defeated, and how that defeat led to liberation for me.
By the time I had sense enough to feel ashamed of my acting out, the allure of lust had its hooks in my mind and heart. As a young child, I became lost in my own private hell: trying to navigate right from wrong, discovering family secrets and keeping my own, and experiencing a growing desire for pleasure.
I am happy to report that the CFC now has approximately $8,000 in named reserve, mostly as a result of the Pennsylvania prison news (see December 2010 ESSAY). This is more than enough money to cover starter kits for all Pennsylvania prisons, so we would like to send White Books to prison libraries throughout the country.
Dear Fellow SA Members: Lately, I’ve been reflecting on Step Three. While working Step One, I faced my powerlessness over lust. In Step Two I came to believe that there is a power greater than myself. Now, in Step Three I must take positive action and give myself to that Higher Power, so that I can be free of my self-destructive behaviors.
The SA and S-Anon members of the Portland-Vancouver metropolitan area invite you to join us for the “Recovery on the (Columbia) River” convention in Portland this July. When you arrive, our local members will heartily welcome you.
I just came back from the Irvine convention. I had a wonderful time!
In the San Francisco Bay area, we started a Friday SA group with the purpose of interacting with prisoners who are part of the local sponsor-by-mail program. We wanted to create a different kind of meeting from our usual White Book “read and share” meetings—a meeting that would establish bonds between SA members in prison and those of us on the outside.
My friend Chris began his recovery from sexual addiction after being arrested in 2007 for a sex-related crime. In 2008, shortly after celebrating one year of sexual sobriety, he learned that he could plead guilty and receive a 15-year sentence, or he could go to trial.
I first entered these rooms in 2001, after confessing to my wife that I had had a number of encounters with prostitutes during our eight years of marriage. I thought that if I could stop my abhorrent sexual behaviors of cruising and employing prostitutes, I would save my marriage, write a book, and embark on a speaking ministry across the country to help men and women trapped by sexual addiction.
I like to look up definitions of key words found in the Twelve Steps, using a 1934 Webster’s Dictionary, which was current when the Big Book was published, and then create drawings for them. Step Eleven has lots and lots of words! I could see a lot of important words in there, but for me the two most important words were “conscious contact.”
