Hello. I’m Harvey A., a sexaholic. I thought of all kinds of openings, but the one I want to say is how much I love my wife. She’s been having to bathe me, she’s been having to drive me, she had to put my socks on. This is a woman who … no woman should have to go through what she went through from my disease.
[One SA group’s guidelines for staying sober today; submitted at the January 1994 Rochester conference.]
Thank you for referring the recent SA inquirer from Arkansas to me. We had an excellent newcomer’s meeting. We also discussed starting a meeting.
I am just a couple of days back from the Rochester ’94 gathering. I came home with a full set of cassette tapes, and many feelings and impressions and memories. This overwhelming sense that I came away with—and I think this is a wonderful sign—is a sense of inner peace, such as I have never before experienced. Could it be a glimpse of the “serenity” we all seek? This feeling of peace is for me a confirmation that I am on the right road now, in the right place, among the right people. Thank God!
My name is Mike and I am a sexaholic. I have been sober now in AA for 25 years and have gone to any length to maintain my sobriety, and yet at times I felt so alone and different from most people. The tears inside that would not come out. The people, places and things that were going to make me whole—they never worked. The hole I felt inside, the despair, never being myself, thinking “This time it will be different. This time it will be OK,” only to fall again, more and more isolated, feeling more resentment, and wanting inside to hurt back.
There are still only the two of us, and we are both still struggling with Step One, but we have both made progress, and are glad to be part of a fellowship that addresses this particular problem. Some contacts have been made with other “loners” in the U.S. and U.K. and we shall continue to maintain them.
I can hardly contain my enthusiasm for what is happening in SA, at least here. We had our first meeting last night under the “new format” and it was very powerful. (Not only that, it was 90 minutes instead of two hours — by group conscience) and everyone stayed afterwards for talking and fellowship.
This article was written to stimulate further discussion among sponsors and sponsees about what is working for them and how we may help another better seek humility and the more complete surrender to our Higher Power as we grow in recovery.
Central Office needs contact people (name, address and phone number) for new inquirers to call. The listing below shows, by state, the first three numbers of the postal Zip Code areas in which we have no contact person. This means that while we have many calls from people suffering, in some cases we are unable to help them find a meeting in their area.
I was talking to another SA member recently about healthy marriages and how to have one, and he suggested that I propose a “corner” in the Essay for members to share what is working for them in that area. I think we spend too much time talking about acting-out behavior and not enough about having healthy relationships. If we truly have surrendered lust, then what better do we have to do with our time than learn how to be more intimate with our spouses and/or friends?
