My life in recovery is full of miracles today—the biggest of them is that I am recovering from this disease, this enslavement to lust, for which there is no cure. And another huge miracle is that I am grateful today; I used to be never grateful.
I did not quit, I surrendered. I began my journey in this program when a friend from Al-Anon told me I was a sexaholic. To prove her wrong, I agreed to go to six SA meetings. During those six meetings I slowly came to admit that I was a sexaholic. At the beginning I made no eye contact with other members and I did not share. There were six other SA women at my first home group meeting. We went to two meetings a week as a group, which helped me to connect with the program and then I started to share.
At first I thought that the term, “sobriety,” didn’t fit with what I thought a sexaholic was because I had no experience with alcoholism. But when I came into these rooms eight years ago I learned that sobriety was difficult to obtain because it was about my state of mind and what I might do with it if I didn’t get spiritually fit.
SA continues to fulfill its purpose to be available to the sexaholic who needs it. We have meetings in over 70 countries, as well as lots of online meetings. Any newcomer who needs SA can find a meeting!
As of January 15, 2023, we are approaching 1000 Registered meetings of out of an expected 1700. We have extended the deadline once from December 31, 2022, to January 31, 2023. For several reasons, we have not yet approached the critical mass we had hoped for
Participation in conventions is one of the strongest recovery tools, which I was able to experience again last weekend, together with almost 50 fellows from seven countries. Beginning of January has become a priority in my diary since I first went to the Exeter winter convention last year.
What do I understand by “the joy of service?” When I began attending meetings in 2008, I did not want to do any SA service. But on Saturday, August 5, 2018, my current sobriety date, I began to feel different. On Sunday, the very next day, a local group voted me in as its Intergroup Rep. Before that, I had only done things like putting out chairs, filling in as a back-up meeting secretary, making coffee, serving as a temporary sponsor etc.
This is Ameer, recovering sex drunk from Iraq. If I wanted to summarize the AA Big Book on the importance of service, it would be in one word: joy! I have been transformed from misery to joy by freely giving of myself to others. I have experienced the principle: “The measure we give is the measure we get back.” It’s true! I am now addicted to service (in a good way!). Joy in recovery is not limited to sobriety; it includes helping others and witnessing their recovery! For years I experienced the false joy, the emptiness of lust.
My experience of joy in service through making SA a better place for women includes how one individual, then a homegroup, then intergroup, and finally the SA international community made themselves better places by taking measures to more comfortably accommodate me, a woman.
A few years before I came to SA, I saw several therapists. I didn't realize it then, but I was looking for a “higher power” that would save me from myself, that would carry me. Being saved and carried was exactly what I tried to find in lust.
